We visit the 'muscle whisperer' to find out if a back massage can heal your emotional pain
Sophia Kupse digs her fingers hard into my sore left shoulder, and cheerily asks if it hurts. ‘Yes!’ I squeak, hoping she’ll stop.
Instead she digs deeper, until I wonder if she is trying to pummel me into submission.
The truth is quite the opposite. Sophia, known by her clients as the ‘muscle whisperer’, believes we store up emotional pain in the knotted muscles of our backs — and her brutal treatment is designed to release it.
She says that in 25 years of practice she has developed a ‘map’ of places on your back where specific emotional problems cause pain.
Lower back hurting? It’s something from your childhood. An ache on your left side? Must be to do with a male boss, relative or partner. Neck pain? It’s linked to what’s happening in your life now.
Sound mad? Her celebrity fans, including actress Liv Tyler and top sports players, swear by her treatments — and if they can cure my back pain, I’ll believe it.
She points out her method is no stranger than reflexology, the discipline that it is claimed can revive your mind and body by pressing key points on the feet.
So, what does Sophia make of my bad left shoulder, which has been throbbing and burning for four years no matter what I do — from popping painkillers and natural anti-inflammatory supplements, to taking up yoga and trying new ways of sitting at my desk?
After digging deep into the knots on my back, Sophia says the pain is caused by ‘negative male energy’. ‘Did you have a bad break-up, a few years ago? Perhaps just before the shoulder began to bother you?’
I’m stunned. Five years ago, I split up with the father of my two children, now nine and 11. I was left overwhelmed by the realities of life as a single mother, and the financial and emotional aftershocks kept on coming.
Now the family breadwinner, I moved back to London from the country and had to give up my cherished horseriding and daily hikes. There was no time for exercise, let alone pampering.
I’d never joined the dots before, but it was about the same time that my shoulder started to hurt. Truth be told, I had so many other things to worry about that I just pushed it to the back of my mind, hoping it would go away.
But at the start of this year — now in a new, supportive relationship — I decided to turn over a new leaf. No man loves a moaning, moping partner, while my kids needed their vibrant, active mother back. So I gave up drinking and unhealthy treats and started dragging myself to yoga classes.
Soon, my energy was back, and I was whizzing around on bike rides with the kids or racing them up the stairs. But my shoulder still hurt, although my doctor found nothing serious.
I’m far from alone in living with chronic pain. A recent study found lower back problems cause more disability worldwide than any other condition, affecting nearly one in ten — and is commonest of all in privileged Western Europe. Upper back pain like mine isn’t quite as prevalent, but it’s no less horrible to live with.
So, could my back pain be due to a broken relationship — and could a massage really fix it?
Sophia insists it will, and that her method is based in science.
‘People with back pain always say it’s because of a physical reason, like sleeping strangely or spending too long at the computer,’ she says. ‘But making changes to how they sleep or sit often doesn’t help. They never consider that the pain might be due to their emotional state.’