Shopping list of things to FEAR

• ISIS (but not Al-Qaeda anymore as they are out allies)
• Anyone who actually fights ISIS (like Syrians, Hezbollah, Iran, Russia)
• North Korea and Iran
• Firearms in the hands of kids shooting up domestic schools (not to be confused with our soldiers shooting up foreign schools, which is to be instead celebrated because they are heroes)
• Russia and China
• Homeless people, veterans and anybody who calls themselves a patriot
• Russians
• Increase in the price of beer
• Aliens (Mexican, otherworldly or both combined)

I'm sure I missed a few though