The Sixth Element? Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Video Review)

in #movies7 years ago (edited)

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Like most people, I didn’t bother watching Director Luc Besson’s Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets when it hit the movie theaters. The critics panned the movie badly, so I waited until the video release to watch it. Based on the comic book series of the same name, much of the movie Valerian reminded me more of Besson’s The Fifth Element.

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Lots of parallels.

If there’s a Sixth Element, it’s a dimension that involves virtual reality, psychedelic pearls, and lots more lasers and aliens.

The movie features plenty of action and plenty of neon. All in all, I agree with most critics that the film’s main attraction is its sumptuous visuals. In nearly every scene, we are treated to a scenic masterpiece: cities in space, dreamy planets, and more alien creations than you could fit in a Star Wars bar scene.

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VR provides another dimension.

Anyone who likes ultraviolet jellyfish and that tingly, zappy lightning stuff won’t be disappointed. It’s like going into the future with a virtual reality headset. One shot of the Alpha station evokes a Ghibli composition and from there it goes to Las Vegas Venetian skies, but once we reach the main destination, the dominant visual tone is Battlestar Galactica-themed laser tag.

You can see most of it in this trailer:

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Life on the pearl planet.

The visuals are impressive (probably even more so in 3D), yet the overall effect of the movie remains hokey on some level. It maintains that artificial deference that some directors seem to use when they’re working from comic books. The characters suffer the most from this disconnect. I wouldn’t call the acting terrible, but it’s plain and unremarkable. Dane DeHaan is cold and one dimensional. Perhaps Cara Delavingne can act, but Director Luc Besson does not put her in a position to succeed. She has no chance to create a strong female role like Natalie Portman or Milla Jovovich did more memorably in previous Besson films.

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Are you getting the idea? They have these same fixed facial expressions for the entire movie.

The two leads here aren’t likeable. They barely look old enough to drive a spaceship, but of course the fate of the universe is in their hands. Besides appearing more like brother and sister than two people who might have a romantic interest in one another, they have zero chemistry and we don’t see the first smile until about the 45th minute (if there was an earlier one, I missed it).

Most of the time, they are grimmer than Herbie Hancock, who is instantly recognizable in his signature glasses. I guess they couldn’t get him to wear a duct tape bikini or a lizard mask dripping with slime. Perhaps the serious mood is in keeping with the comic book franchise, but despite the playful and imaginative scenery on the journey they take, the main actor and actress do not look like they’re having fun. Their quest is businesslike and their dialogue seems forced.

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Herbie Hancock must have included the glasses in his contract.

The film’s storyline is the blank slate that director Luc Besson needed to take the next imaginative step beyond his 1997 movie The Fifth Element. There are some parallels in this dream. There’s the pervasive evil disturbance that the main characters set out to discover and eliminate, requiring a trip to another world. There’s the missing link that makes it all right in the end. There are the larger than life characters, both alien and human, who appear at every juncture and form the living landscape of the journey.

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By “larger than life”, I mean these figures are role players in the exaggerated comic book style, often more of a visual distraction than key parts of a fast-moving storyline. The pace slows down noticeably only to bring in Rihanna as a shapeshifting stripper. She ends up being a bright point, but leaves us too soon as noise envelopes the story once more.

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Rihanna's cameo is actually a high point, not just for the striptease, but because her character provides a bit of warmth in the film.

I almost missed Chris Tucker’s Ruby Rhod character from The Fifth Element. As in that movie, there is a scene at the departure point before reaching the next-stage destination (Fhloston Paradise in The Fifth Element and Alpha in Valerian). And instead of Ruby Rod, we are given a tour guide with a gigantic turban and a hippy bus. But he doesn’t last as long as the stripper.

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Ruby Rhod from the Fifth Element.

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The turban tour guide in Valerian.

The last 40 minutes of the movie are a slight improvement. It’s almost as if someone flips a switch, since the plot and the actors loosen up noticeably. Until then, I wasn’t optimistic that the story would resolve itself in any way other than its one dimensional trajectory would suggest. For a short time, it becomes unglued from that page. The actors show a hint of passion and some smiles. It finally appears as if they had rehearsed a scene together.

In the end, I don’t like having to watch a movie only because someone tells me it is a “must see” visual treat. The sideshow figures and critters are memorable again here, and the action is omnipresent, but please give me a movie along with them, even if it is from a comic book. Besides those highlights, there isn’t a good reason to watch Valerian. It reminded me of a SyFy channel movie on a bigger budget.

If you enjoy imaginative visuals and Besson’s sideshow characters with a dose of action, you might enjoy Valerian. But if you need a movie with characters and a plot, then feel free to skip this one. It’s missing some elements.

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All images of the movie are from Valerian: City of a Thousand Planets from EuropaCorp and STXfilms. Images of Bruce Willis/Milla Jovovich and Chris Tucker are from The Fifth Element from Columbia Pictures. The last image is a widely circulated meme originating with Lord of the Rings by New Line Cinema.

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I have watched this movie. It is not interesting for me as I am not a America .

For me the characters and plot are a must, unfortunately very few sci-fi movies are blessed with such "details" nowadays. I quickly get bored of only visual stuff, no matter how entertaining.
The Ruby character from the Sixth Element was hilarious btw :) I hope they will make movies of that caliber in the future because I'm kind of losing fate in the sci-fi genre, even though I like it a lot.

I felt like the characters were really unbelievable... like the protagonist... he was supposed to be an unpredictable "bad boy." He did not sell it at all.

Agreed, very unconvincing indeed

He behaved like some random college kid they found on the street. Elite agent my butt.

Science fiction is the chief role of our dreams!! @donkeypong @jasonyoakam

That's how I feel also. I love scifi, but it's become so lazy overall. There aren't many decent storylines or characters.

I wasn't asking you but watch it regardless to see how a low budget can still produce good sci fi

I don't think so.

please do, it's low budget sci fi thriller/mystery at its finest

Thanks for the suggestion re: Moon. I was just jokingly complaining about not having an alternative after reading this review :)

@donkeypong I just watched this movie and Hollywood directors sadly needs to go away and do some soul searching. Their tired story lines , abuse of CGI plus always wanting to copy the avatar or whatever blockbuster movie is irritating. That's why i truly wish TRX Coin would fund movies from young directors with a fresher ideas for movies.

Do you like marvel movies too? sir @donkeypong ?

I am right there with you, I really miss the 70s style sci-fi, (pre-star wars)
where they had great dystopic stories that were usually depressing.

Modern Indecent and Foreign sci-fi films are sometimes really good if you can overlook the issues that come from filming with a small budget.

Nothing beats Le Planete Savage in psychedelic dystopia. Second place goes to Gandahar. Third to Zardoz. Fourth to Logan's Run.

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@donkeypong - Hmm. As soon as I read the title, my mind did draw parallels to the 5th Element. I do love visual effects but am kind of fed up of the lasers poking me in the eye in recent 3D movies. I certainly do not want purple jellyfish tingling my nostrils.
3D has become kind of 'dr.fixit' for all shortcomings as you have correctly pointed out.
I would be freaking out within first 10 minutes of the movie if I saw those wooden expressions for one more minute! Aarrgggh. They are worse than models' expressions during a ramp walk.
Worst of all - instead of the Chris Tucker with attitude, I get to see a Turbaned tour guide? I see enough of those already in real life - Thank you!

Thanks for this comprehensive review (and heads up). Will avoid watching even as a re-run! LOL
Upvoted full.

Regards,

@vm2904

You wouldn't believe it. Their chemistry was just soo off. It was ridiculous...

"Wooden expressions" is a good way to put it. They held them for almost the entire movie.

Seriously, you said my mind. They now cover so many loopholes with 3D. I mean, what the hell!!!

I'm all for good writing, nice plots, compelling dialog and excellent delivery. I don't give a damn about 3D or whatever D they choose to use.

I can only say thank you for making sure that I’m not watching this film at all now, excepting maybe when it’s on Netflix and can serve as a pretty muted background collage of images, but dayum, that’s a lot of votes for a movie review which is incredibly consistent with the general feelings about valerian. For me to get such votes at this point in time I believe I would have to write the seventh element, or at least seven minutes abs. But it is POS after all, and you are donkeypong. I’ll take this over bitcoin and Satoshi rolling around in her grave. Love, Alx

Aside from the lifeless acting, half the movie felt like dead time, as secondary events were taking up most of the duration with slow pacing, leaving very little for the main plot.

For example, calculate how much time was wasted on trying to rescue Laureline from those aliens by side tracking for a shape shifting stripper, when there was a hatch right there in the throne room. For all the time Valerian wasted on trying to sneak in and not cause a mess, he ended up causing a mess and escaped through the hatch. Why didn't he simply use the hatch and be done with it?

So we can have a completely useless strip dance. Not to mention how we are also supposed to care about the stripper afterwards, when in effect she was removed from the plot exactly when her purpose was fulfilled.

You're not wrong there. I liked the stripper, though. I know she was an alien, but my first thought was that she brought a bit of humanity to the screen finally (before being removed). Yes, the plot was a mess.

I might as well add the plot armor of Valerian having the soul of the dead alien inside him, so the rest of them will not oppose him once they meet and the story can conveniently move in his favor without having to kill any of those victimized fellows. For a plot point that was foreshadowed in the beginning of the movie, he dismissed its importance early on, and the aliens on the multi dimensional bazaar did not do something about it right away.

And then it's the plan of the human general to hide the truth of the battle. How exactly would he do that where there were thousands of soldiers fighting on both sides? How do you hide the destruction of a planet by erasing footage and killing a couple of staff members? There were way too many witnesses, enemy side included.

I think there might be a problem with the casting here... Compared to the 5th element cast, this kids look too young and trying too hard to look cool whereas in T5thE Bruce Willis and Gary Oldman were just so right in their element it made the movie flow naturally. I hope I'm mistaken and they blow me away.
@donkeypong

Sadly, you are not mistaken. The casting was poor. The movie gave me no reason to like either of them. Even with flat direction, two decent actors could have carried it better than they did. Bruce Willis never won any acting awards (as far as I know), but he had force and charisma on the screen at all times. These people didn't have help from the director and they couldn't fill any gaps on their own.

A lot of you guys don't even know that this Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets inspired Star Wars and many other sci-fi books and movies. I'm not saying this movie is gonna be good or bad, but just know that the graphic novel inspired many of the things we watch and read today. Give this movie a chance, I will @donkeypong

The books are beloved by many and yes, they were influential. If you like them that much, you might enjoy the movie, but I didn't.

I think Rihanna's play is the most important factor for watching @donkeypong
Thanks for your vote :)

I watched it in the plane last month. I fully agree with your critique. The movie is beautiful, nice to watch. However, the story is not that great, very predictable, and the characters are not attractive.

I could actually say the same for the last Star Wars that I didn't like that much too...

It had some similarities to the recent Star Wars; they are throwing in as much distraction & action as they can now and hoping it keeps people entertained. I enjoyed Star Wars better than this one, though.

Same for me, but the comparison is unfair. I saw Valerian in the plane and Star Wars in 3D in a movie theater (and I was with my family :p ).

I haven't bothered to watch it but i'm sure I will at some stage when I come across it on covenant. The fifth element however is a classic.

Bruce willis and a hot confused alien, what's not to love. To be fair the plot and visuals were actually decent as well which turned it into a great watch. It's still one I will leave on when it's showing on the tv.

The Fifth Element was better than this one unless you like raw visuals and action.

Thanks for such an in depth review! Going to have to go and watch Valerian now :)

donkeypong...another marvelous post. You are truly a talented writer and I truly enjoy learning from you and the insights and critiques you provide through your very intellectual point of views. Reading this makes me kind of curious to see this movie even if its not the greatest, I liked fifth element so maybe I will enjoy this. The only thing I don't really agree with is is that Ned Stark in the quotation poster you put on the bottom of your post? Game of Thrones is one of my favorite and Ned Stark was a honorable man..the quote is true though just not about Ned Stark common he has been through enough.