Movie Review - Clerks

A black and white movie in 1994? Yes, sir. The star here is the dialogue and the acting. We've been Jason Mewes fans ever since. Once Upon a Time in the West is twice as long but the script must weigh less than half of Clerks'. Kevin Smith wrote it and must have changed the ribbon on his electric typewriter several times.

The cast of characters like to play roller hockey when they can get away from their shitty jobs. They address timeless controversies like does sucking dick constitute sex. This is crucial for the main character Dante who finds out his girlfriend sucked off 37 guys, including him. But she is a really good gf who really does love him. Will the relationship last?

Further philosophical inquiries include whether it's really necrophilia if you didn't know the guy was dead with a rigor mortis boner. You know, if it's dark and you think it's your living boyfriend?

Quote of the movie, "I'm not even supposed to be here today." That's only because it was repeated the most, other statements made only one time were much better, especially when Jay quotes his granma who used to piss herself and shit herself.

We here at Fart in the Wind grant Clerks 4.5 out of 5 Farts. It is a classic. The first time we saw it we were riveted from beginning to end. We even heard a Bad Religion song in there somewhere. It has to be good.

Jay and Silent Bob slingin in front of the convenience store.