Comparison, Contributed by @Olawalium
This life is a funny one. No success seems to be satisfying. We strive to be successful in certain things by setting goals and targets, and the moment we attain it, we look forward to more. I remembered when I started on Steemit. I set the target to reach reputation 50, and now I am past it, I still aim for more. I like that about life. A constant setting of targets motivates us, so we won’t rest on our laurels. We should always and constantly strive to be better than who we were yesterday. The motivation has to come from within, and not purely from external forces.
When we motivate ourselves from the inside, the competition is within us. The drive, the fire, the passion is fueled from within and it drives us on. The moment we lose our motivation or fail to set a target in life, we are not really living anymore since there is no motivation to go on living.
The mistake we all make, including me, is that we measure up against others. We see others attain a certain height and we feel we are failing. You are not failing. Each man has a clearly defined path to follow. Go through yours. No one has it easy. It might look easy, but they didn’t have it easy. Don’t fall into that comparison trap, because it will shatter your confidence and affect your goals. The more others keep going, the more you will feel you are failing. The more they keep attaining new grounds, the more you will feel you are going down. (If you go deeper, maybe we can discover oil, hahaha. Jokes, don’t go deeper please.)
Your parents compare you with another family friend who got admission faster than you? Your friend got married earlier than you, and you feel you are failing in life? Your friend just built a house and you are still living in a rented apartment? Your friend traveled out of the country and you haven’t even seen a plane before, except in pictures? Your friend gave birth and you are still expecting? Your friend recently started a booming business and you are still working for someone, earning a stipend?
Calm down, you are not failing. If anything, be happy for them and let their success fuel you to achieve things too. But, don’t ever fall into the comparison trap. Your motivation still has to come from your inside. Let the outside reality spark an internal realization in you, to propel you to an even greater height.
We are all different. We are all unique. We have a clearly different path. We might have the ability to do the same thing, but we will still end up doing it differently because we are all unique in our own rights. I am not saying you cannot evolve, yes, you can, but you have to be comfortable with who you are, not who situations or comparison is forcing you to be. You are unique, you are special, and your uniqueness makes you stand out.
It is good to admire what others have and achieve, but face your path, because only in your path and your strength will you be able to achieve what your heart wanted. Remember, who you are, is bigger than what you have because what you have is as a result of who you are. Never confuse it.
...to be continued...
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Thank you once more @olawalium.
We all need to understand the fact that comparing ourselves with others can only make us feel terribly bad about ourselves. You can't measure up yourself or your achievements with theirs and be happy with whatever it is you have accomplished.
Their is always somebody out their with better results than you are getting, trying to catch up with them will only result in unhealthy competition that deny you the opportunity to appreciate or enjoy whatever you have accomplished.
It is good to set such a high standard for ourselves, but don't let it be too high that you won't be able to accomplish. It is better to set a reasonable standard so that after each accomplishments, you keep raising the bar.
If the competition is from within, we call it motivation or drive which is healthy for every great accomplishments. External competition is a destroyer, it ask you to keep stretching far beyond your limit until you outstretched your limit that can only lead to your break down.
You can't be anyone else and be happy, the only person you can be in order to be happy is you....
Thanks @olawalium and @communitycoin, can't wait for the second part.
Absolutely. Thanks for this.
My pleasure.....
This is such an inspirational post. Sometimes I fell that by comparison we bring into existence insurmountable demons but on the other hand without comparison there seems to be a shortage of parameters to judge progress - generally speaking.
I think a healthy attitude to have is one where we find a balance between creating a healthy competition for us and drawing the line beyond that. Because crossing that line would almost certainly result in self doubt and misery. Of course it is all easier said then done.
You got that point right there. There should always be a balance. Balance is needed for every thing. Thank you for this.
If i had lived my life in comparison, i will probably have hung myself, growing up i was neither extra smart or extra anything, im an introvert, a mediocre life was fine for me. But as i grew up, i realised that things i desired and got actually drew attention to me which i didnt really want. Will i lower my desire because of what people will say? Definitely not. I had to learn to deal with it, plus if i were to be comparing myself to others i wont move forward because i will be blinded by what others are doing and neglect my own race.
As you have said, its okay to admire, but we should also remember, who you are, is bigger than what you have because what you have is as a result of who you are. Never confuse it
Thank you.
Hmmn
I am glad you didn't live your life in comparison....
You see, I'm also an introvert
And as introverts, we tend to feel bad when extroverted kids are being all chatty, outgoing and savvy....
Exactly
Absolutely brother. You got the point right there. Thanks for sharing your personal experience too. Always means a lot.
Youre welcome brother. Thanks
Every one has his or her time to make it in life, you friends did I faster than you doesn't mean you won't or can't do yours, even when your own time comes ,your may be genuine or good than theirs but just don't give up cos you see others make if faster than you and you haven't
Think of those ones you both started together but look back to see those ones you did it faster than, don't look those who did it faster than you
But don't ever stop trying cos those at the front won't stop and those at the back would want to meet you
Exactly, this is just the main truth
Don't give up because you see someone else's success
help is on the way
Exactly, because others seem to have gone ahead doesn't mean you won't catch up. Approach is very key. Thanks a lot bro.
Comparisons turn friends and allies into rivals.
In a perfect world, we would celebrate and genuinely enjoy the joys and accomplishments of others. Yet if we use others as a benchmark to evaluate ourselves, that creeping twinge of jealousy may undermine our ability to truly cherish the good things that come to others. Just remember: Over time, things may even out, and a friend’s success may enable him or her to support and make opportunities for others .
Oh my world!. I love this, really. I couldn't even pick out a favourite part. I love every part. Very well explained. Thank you.
Yes of course, I usually compare myself with family or friends, and it is true that we always look for more goals, but we must be clear that happiness should be in enjoying the path to reach that goal, and not waiting for it, as the path I will be very nimble and without enjoyment.
Me too
In a way, we're all guilty of this
True.
Yes, we are all guilty ans our approach matters a lot.
I love this.
Sure, greethings.
The problem parents don't realize is that comparison is addictive. Once the child learnt to compare himself to others it is not easy for him to let go of it.
some people are overwhelmed by comparison that if they stopped comparing themselves to others they won't find a purpose to live for.
The fact is just that parent should not compare cos you were not born at the same place and you were not gonna make it at the same time
Yeah....
When a child starts comparing his life with others, it may be difficult for him to stop in the long run....
You are so right with this. So right.
Great post! Definitely a worthwhile read. Resteemed!
It is most definitely worth a resteem, lol