How I sold all my stuff and moved across the country: on being minimalish

in #minimalism7 years ago

break-car-couple-196666.jpg

Downsizing can be oh-so-simple. Or it can be p a i n s t a k i n g.

Easy to repin that pristine, white and gold minimalist kitchen with the artistically-placed bowl of lemons. Hard to ditch those ratty sweatshirts you never wear but are hanging onto because they’re “so comfortable.” Or the food processor you will DEFINITELY us at some point.

In 2017 I reduced my material possessions by 75%. Yep, cut that ish in half then cut it in half again. By the end of it, my husband and I were able to fit our all worldly wealth into our two cars (both Honda civics) + 4 moving boxes which we subsequently hauled across the country to start over fresh on the East Coast.

Here are just some of the things I let go of:
stuff.jpg

The results were surprising and illuminating. Here’s what I discovered:

  1. I don’t miss a single item I donated, sold or trashed
  2. Purging possessions can become addictive
  3. I can be happy with less

I don’t miss a thing
There were so many times I felt a twinge of fear or resistance when I was about to donate or throw out a particular item. But this shirt is so cute. My mom gave me this vase. I spent good money on this chair I never sit in. Realizing I had an apartment full of things I thought I couldn’t part with felt like I was under some sort of spell. Like these things had an invisible hold on me because in some twisted sense I was deriving a sense of value or worth from them. Once I pushed myself past this initial hump of separation anxiety, the results were so freeing. I was still me, even without my cute apartment or a closet full of carefully curated outfits. One year later I truly don’t miss anything I got rid of.

The purging “high”
One of my first steps in downsizing was to list all my big ticket items on Craigslist. I sold my bedframe, mattress, couch, dresser, bookshelf, computer desk, two side tables, lamps, an accent chair and patio furniture for cold hard cash. Once I started closing deals it became a sort of game to see how much I could sell. I began to realize that my things and my decor aesthetic didn’t define me. I realized the more sentimental or emotional value I attached to something, the more empowering it was to part with it. I began to wonder how much I could get rid of and still be happy—turns out, just about everything. Now that I’m settled into my new place, I pick one area of the apartment monthly to purge just for fun.

Happy with less
At times, looking around my almost-bare apartment before the move felt lonely and empty. At other times I felt a sense of pride, accomplishment and freedom. Both emotional journeys usually ended up at the same place: reflecting on who I am and what I want out of life. I couldn’t look around and pretend that things felt normal and comfortable. I couldn’t feel passive and complacent. My bare floors and walls were a constant reminder that life is full of change, full of loss and transition and that is okay. Embracing the change helped me focus on what is constant in my life and appreciate my closest relationships.

Hot tips
Throughout the process, I got a lot of my inspiration and encouragement from bloggers pursuing a minimalist lifestyle, and TheMinimalists.com was like my Bible. Here are some tips and tricks I picked up along the way that may be helpful if you’re considering a minimal-ish lifestyle:

  1. Go with your gut: If you have an instinct that you don’t want or need something, don’t second-guess yourself, toss it!
  2. Know what makes you happy: If you truly get a lot of use or joy from an item, keep it. If not, toss it!
  3. The 90-90 rule: if you haven’t used the item in the last 90 days and probably won’t in the next 90, toss it!
  4. The 20-20 rule: if you’re holding onto an item “just in case,” but it costs less than $20 and you can drive less than 20 minutes to buy a new one, toss it!
Sort:  

Thank you for this introduction @emily.jeanette! I am on the path to minimizing myself and looking forward to purging a lot of the excess stuff that is simply accumulating dust and consuming space. I've never heard of the 90-90 or the 20-20 rule so it will definitely be something I will put to practice once I begin my purge.

Do you have any recommendations as to where to start? Its always the hardest to do...

Thank you for reading! My experience is that purging definitely gets easier as you go along—it's the snowball effect! I like to start with something fairly easy and specific. Maybe a bathroom cabinet or a single shelf of a closet. Once you accomplish a small task and feel that sense of accomplishment, it's easier to handle the next task! I'd also recommend www.theminimalists.com or The Minimalists podcast for lots of tips and tricks.

Happy minimizing!

Small steps and achievable goals! Thanks again! Looking forward to more posts from you.

This is a fantastic first article!

I realized the more sentimental or emotional value I attached to something, the more empowering it was to part with it.

This is such an empowering thought! I noticed the same thing with relationships as well. Except instead of throwing away relationships, I imagine what it would be like if that person never existed. This may sound a bit extreme, but it's a great way to release attachment to people and really value them for who they are, not just the role they play in your life.

At times, looking around my almost-bare apartment before the move felt lonely and empty. At other times I felt a sense of pride, accomplishment and freedom. Both emotional journeys usually ended up at the same place: reflecting on who I am and what I want out of life.

Love this! Whenever you set a goal to let go of something, you can turn something that feels like loss and emptiness into a feeling of freedom and accomplishment. But instead of forcing yourself to "stay positive" you let yourself feel both ends of the emotional spectrum and receive all the gifts each had to offer.

Also the 90-90 and 20-20 rule are freaking genius!

Glad to have you on the platform, Emily!

Thank you Josh! And thank you for highlighting me on your show. I'm so honored! I'm a big believer in exploring what the entire spectrum of emotion has to teach us. I'm glad that, along with other parts of the post, resonated with you.

Nice! Very enjoyable to read. Entertaining and informative.
I can relate to it. Although I've been living in this house for 7 years and my girlfriend her whole life, and you can imagine how much stuff gathers in 50 years. And in my seven years of stuff, there's a lot I could do without.
But about 35 years ago, with 28, I minimalized down to one backpack and took off for Europe and Israel (Palestine). OK, to be honest I didn't plan to stay. I had a few things stored at my Moms house for when I come back. I didn't - except for a visit now and then. It's been a while this time. I can't afford it anyway, but I'd be a little bit leery of Trumpty Dumpty if I did go back.

I'm so glad this struck a chord. It is crazy how much can accumulate in 7 years....or one year!

Backpacking across Europe is my next adventure. Happy to hear it was a positive one for you.

Congratulations @emily.jeanette! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You published your First Post
You got a First Vote

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Upvote this notification to help all Steemit users. Learn why here!

This is great.

My wife and I go through feast and famine periods. We have found it to be really difficult to keep the stuff down as we continue to have more kids (just had our fifth). Kids do need some stuff, but so much of the stuff marketed to new parents is absolute twaddle. There is also this constant stream of stuff that seems to flow in with every grandparent visit (why do my kids each need a basket of knick-knack for Easter?!).

The real problem is that as my kids get more things, it triggers something in my wife and I to want to accumulate more stuff. That's the feast. We've try to reevaluate every 6 months or so, but controlling the inflow is really the end-game.

Thanks for detailing your journey with this. Also, I love the word "minimalish." True minimalism has never really appealed to me, but I can dig minimalish.

Cheers,
Sam

I really liked reading your post.
Thank you for sharing your Story.