How to Trust Other People If You Are Having Trust Issues....

in #mindset6 years ago

Hello, Steemians!

We have all had instances of our life when we regret trusting someone. When your trust is betrayed, it is hard to trust someone again, and that jeopardizes most of our relationships.

When your trust is repeatedly broken, your mind develops a defense mechanism which prevents the people you meet from ever having the chance to betray your trust.

Your mind will create a pre-emptive routine that involve keeping a discernible distance with other people, both physically and emotionally.

How can we mend our broken heart and learn how to trust again?


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Psychologists unanimously agree that if someone is not capable of trusting other people, the roots of this skepticism can be traced back to even their childhood.

Most people who can’t trust others have usually been betrayed of felt abandoned from an early age.

This mistrust has found deep roots in their subconscious, thus making it difficult to connect to other people on an intimate level and learn how to trust them.

A lot of people find it difficult to allow other people to enter their lives. Their emotional comfort zone compels them to push people out or run away from them.

Someone might even go so far as to betray his own feelings and the other person before they have a chance to betray him.
As hard as it might sound, if we are struggling with mistrust, we need to erase our past and look hopefully into the future.

You should be wary when you are dealing with new people, but that doesn’t mean you have to live in a bubble and never trust them enough to open up to them and share the things that bother you.


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When someone betrays you, it is not strange to reflect on your beliefs about honesty and conscience. But you need to remember that not all people are like the one you have had the misfortune to deal with.

Remember that there are a lot of good people out there, such as yourself, who would never betray someone’ trust and break word with them.

You also need to tell yourself that trust is not absolute. When you get to meet someone for the first time in your life, you can hardly trust them. It is not your fault.

Trust needs time and dedication. There are many levels to trust, and it should not be as absolute as suggesting that you can either trust someone or always be wary of him altogether.

You might really like someone and know that deep down they are a good person, but you cannot also bring yourself to fully trust them, because you know that they have the potential to one day betray your trust.

You decide to trust people like that, but to an extent, and will always be cautious when dealing with them.


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If you are not sure about whether you can trust someone or not, look at the pattern of their behavior.

That will tell you all you need to know about who he is and how he would react under certain situations. The subtle art of being observant can be useful here, as you need to monitor that person constantly for at least a short period of time.

Always listen to your own voice of reason. Sometimes we are tempted to trust people and give them a chance when they don’t really deserve it.

If you know someone who is always talking behind other people’s backs, you can be sure that he will do the same to you.

Last but not least, remember that if you are feeling betrayed, you need some time to heal.

Do not expect yourself to be able to immediately trust someone else.

Deciding not to trust people ever again is not a rational choice.

You need to learn how to look past their mistakes and take experience and wisdom from your own.


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If someone has betrayed your trust recently, you will need time to heal.

Do not be concerned over this, for time is the greatest healer of all, and eventually, you will find yourself capable of trust again.

Until then, decide that your misfortune in trust is not going to undermine your belief about being positive and trusting.

A BIG HUG!

@chbartist

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It's a hard feeling when you don't have anyone to confide on because you trust no one. You become isolated and prisoner of your own dealings with others with mistrust.
Truly we should try to know the past of others why the act like one, maybe they just reflect what have done to them because they were just a victim of dishonesty.
It's a great thing then to know how to read and understand one's personality to know what things to expect from them and how to compliment them.

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Read books like Awaken the giant within for learn how to take immediate control of your mental emotional, physical & financial destiny
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Thanks for the info and suggestion.

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Betrayal of trust could be very sickening and damaging at times, so I tend not to blame people that find it difficult to trust again. Because, they really need their heart and mind to heal from the betrayal.

All the same, the chances and ability to trust again is still there irrespective of whatever experiences may have erupted in the past. It's just a matter of breaking the walls we set in our hearts and be open and free again.

Trust is only earned. So I believe that if we want someone to trust us, we gotta earn it, you cannot force one to trust you.

Thank you!

How do join the community @chbartist

Hi, if you want I can include you in list! But pay attention in important notes describe in the post.

I'll ensure that

Good night

Para ganarse la confianza de una persona, suele pasar mucho tiempo, pero, para perdertla, es cuestion de un segundo. Una persona traicionada, es muy dificil que olvide lo sucedido, tal vez perdonara, pero, no olvidara.

There are people who often give a lot of confidence to others, without even being careful if it is worth trusting so much, and there are others who do not trust anybody, these people are generally isolated, since by not trusting anyone they do not allow. that your feelings come out

In life you have to have a balance, be cautious, cautious, but without reaching the extremes of locking ourselves in ourselves and not trusting anyone

regards

Great post, eventually you will have to rely or trust someone in some capacity, the best way in my opinion is to accept the reality but also accept the potential consequences, thus if you end up hurt you at least have prepared yourself. It is probably not a sustainable thing to do but at least it is a starting block.

Saludos @chbartist! En función a tu publicación, la confianza es necesaria para crecer, también para evolucionar, así como para desarrollarnos. Se necesita confianza en nosotros mismos y en las personas que nos rodean.

En estos tiempos en el que vivimos, con tantos cambios en nuestras rutinas, y de los cuales derivan tantas incertidumbres, la confianza es fundamental para el desarrollo de nuestras actividades.

Para seguir adelante debemos tener pensamientos positivos, y la confianza se basa en esa premisa. Tener confianza es depositar "Fe" en algo o en alguien.

Feliz día.
Hello @chbartist!

I would say that the solution to re-trusting people is not about erasing the past but learning to put the past in a corner where we do not interfere with personal growth. There is already a saying that says: Whoever forgets his history is condemned to repeat it.
We could also include the willingness to forgive the person who hurt us, forgiveness is necessary but only for us, to free ourselves from the burden of feeling resentment towards that person and not get sick in the long term. It is not necessary to run after that person to hug him and tell him that he has already been forgiven.
And all this is not achieved overnight, but we must do our part so that this can happen.

Many relationships, whatever the case (love, work, friendship, etc.) end up breaking, when you feel, one of the betrayed parties and a betrayed person, they rarely forget.

People, usually try to forgive, but always have the thorn in what happened, a person usually forgives once, but when they give a second chance, and that opportunity is also betrayed, they simply break with the relationship they have.

People should be cautious and, with caution, observe the attitudes of others and, depending on the analysis they make, see if they can really trust someone.

@chbartist sir
In whose mind deceit is not deceptive, his mind is completely clean like a mirror.
The man who has treachery in his mind can never talk to him by looking at the eye. The person who smells from the front and the evil person behind the back can never be trusted. Identifying a trustworthy person and identifying a treacherous person is a very difficult task. Yes, by their activities, it becomes an impression that the belief is worthy or not. We learn to identify individuals with our mistakes and experiences. The calamities coming upon us are the best way to identify such people because during that time only your well wishers will accompany you, whereas the silly person will betray the side.
Yes, in some cases we have to believe blindly even though we do not have to cheat because we do not have any choice.

It is too difficul to trust on people if we have betrayed earlier. But we have to be positive because there is so many good people in this world so we have to move on . Time is a great healers it is capable to heal us. So we have learn how to trust on people so we can grow and become successful with the help of each other.