Out of Existence

Out of Existence

The story below is based on a real life occurrence. It ends with a question that may need your answer.

With a title so ambiguous, many questions pop out. That is exactly what happened to me on the 9th of December 2013. The last 2 years have seen me have several experiences that are hard to contemplate and explain. At around 2 AM on 9th December 2016, I begun to have the strangest of dreams. It was related to some object that my little sister held in her arms. The object began to vanish and with it my conscious aspect, as if from a third perspective, I could see my conscious self disappear and slowly get overcome by a second existence. It filled me with so much fear such that I awoke, I awoke so confused that I had no idea of what was going on. I stared at my wife and child peacefully asleep and a voice in my head began to tell me “Moneniko, hold it together, do not lose it!” It then dawned to me that this experience was not a dream and it was happening at that very instant. The other voice began to laugh and said “You are gone, I’m taking over”, it was sadistic and I could not believe it. My body, gripped with fear began to tremble when I realised that I might just go insane. I stood up, drank a glass of water and my wife awoke to an image of me staring at the mosquito net that lay neatly around the bed. My mind was slowly disappearing behind the veil of something that took pleasure in consuming my consciousness, I then began to ask myself, “Is it me doing this to myself”? I looked at my startled wife and my sleeping child and told myself that I had the duty to look after them both and I could not succumb to whatever it was that so frighted the sleep out of me. I walked to the kitchen, had another glass of water and lay in the bed where I tried my best to explain to my wife what had just happened to me. Even as I write these words, it is difficult for me to even comprehend what had occurred. I initially suspected that it could have been as a result of my inconsistency in taking my high blood pressure control medication, that perhaps my mind had finally conceded to all those years of intense pressure and was now at the verge of total collapse. I even thought that perhaps some entity tried to take over my soul or that I was developing multiple personalities. Most people hear one voice in their head and even though it can have many opposing views, it is only one voice, I distinctly heard 2 voices. The question I now have is that if I heard two voices, am I the third person? How was it that I was standing in the room observing two voices battling to take control of my mind, it now appears, and I strongly belive it now that there is a separate part of me that sees and observes my mind. One can not comprehend this until one has experienced such a thing. I realise that I nearly thought myself out of existence. The question is why?

Thank you for reading.

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