I agree, it is weird that I can type this into a void but cannot talk about it with the people around me. It is the same false courage that allows trolls and bullies on the Internet to shoot off their mouths. Fortunately, I feel like I am using the tool for the Forces of Good instead of the Powers of Evil.

I'm very sorry that your depression is in cycles, insofar as that it can return; and yet you know that there will be relief at some point in the cycle, and that is a true source of hope! That, to me, is the hardest part of what I am going through - there seems to be no end in sight, and that really makes it difficult to face each new day. And yet here I am... not replying back to you in a timely manner because I am getting up and getting going. Arms are heavy, smile is on my face, trying to keep the light in my eyes. It helps to have some forms of reward and escape, something to which I can look forward at the end of the day or the week.

And you're right, they would be lying... I'll have to give this a listen when I have some time to sit and appreciate it - thanks for reading and for the dialogue!