Mediator's technical principles
There are always many things that need a mediator. Sometimes you have to find a way out for your own faults, and sometimes you have to be a "referee" for other people's disputes. If you don't do it well, it will only add fuel to the fire. Not only will it not be peaceful, but it will also expand. situation.
When two friends argue, you have to decide. If you evade, you will offend two people at the same time. So what should be done to be effective when persuading a fight?
There are three principles:
Principle 1: Do not persuade you blindly. Not being able to talk about the idea is not only ineffective, but also arouses disgust from the parties involved. It is necessary to find out the situation in as much detail as possible from the front and the side, and strive to bring the persuasion to the heart of the person concerned.
Principle 2: To distinguish between primary and secondary. There is a distinction between the two parties in the quarrel, and persuasion cannot be used equally. Focus on the one who speaks fiercely and quarrels too much, so that it is easier to settle the dispute.
Principle 3: Be objective and fair. To persuade you to distinguish between right and wrong, you cannot "try to mediate differences at the sacrifice of principle" unprincipled. Criticizing both sides in general, regardless of right and wrong, is not convincing.
Generally speaking, you cannot "try to mediate differences at the sacrifice of principle", but as a third party, you should "try to mediate differences at the sacrifice of principle". There are three techniques in "try to mediate differences at the sacrifice of principle":
Tip 1: Split and split. If the two parties are angry and there is a tendency to draw their swords at once, the third party can make a decisive decision. If there is any emergency, if someone is looking for it, or if there is an emergency call, one of them should be transferred away to get them out of contact. When they extinguished their anger and their heads calmed down, the dispute would calm down.
Technique two: "deception". If it is too true, it is a mistake. In this situation, the third party should act accordingly, cover up the truth with the fake, and then follow the flow to turn the embarrassing occasion into an active and harmonious scene.
Technique 3: Win with love. The third party can use the past feelings of both parties to impress them and make them take the initiative to "retreat." Or use the friendship between yourself and each of them as a bargaining chip, saying: "You are all my good friends. You are stalemate and make me sad. It's up to my face, shake hands and make peace." Generally speaking, both sides will receive the face of the third party, and then they will go down the ladder.
Sometimes when the two sides are in an awkward situation, if the third party rounds the two sides with a clever angle, the stagnant atmosphere can be changed into a relaxed and lively atmosphere.
The most important thing for your own mediator is not to deliberately avoid cover-ups. If it is a trivial issue, you might as well divert the attention of others by diverting the goal or topic. If others are aware of the problem and the problem is not serious, give a brief explanation.
If the nature is more serious and has caused discomfort or even disgust from others, you must apologize immediately and sincerely, and then explain something more solemnly, and solve it on the spot. The longer the delay, the worse the consequences will be.