Not divorcing, not touching you: The heart-wrenching truth behind middle-aged marriages

Not divorcing, not touching you.
It's unclear when this state of marriage has become a common phenomenon in the eyes of middle-aged people. Many who are in such situations either complain helplessly or sigh, then continue to live a life that is tasteless and hard to give up.
Indeed, whether there is love in a marriage seems no longer so important. However, behind this state of "not divorcing and not touching you," there are often various heart-wrenching truths hidden.
Not divorcing is because you still have exploitable value.
Not touching you is because love is long gone.
If we don't talk about the couple's sex life, Susan's ex-husband was almost a typical good man.
They have been married for ten years, and for ten years, her ex-husband has been punctual in transferring money to Susan's account every month. On holidays, he always prepared gifts, and never missed even the small festivals. He was always gentle and considerate to Susan, meticulous in every way, and never asked how she spent money or raised the children.
However, the only problem was that her ex-husband was always unwilling to end the long-distance marriage and return to Susan and the children. No matter how Susan argued, cried, or tried to persuade him with all her heart, he always held on to one reason: for the sake of the family, he needed to earn more money.
Even when Susan openly expressed her dissatisfaction, her ex-husband still chose to pretend not to understand and continued to maintain this plain and distant relationship.
In confusion and depression, Susan complained to her friends, and many friends advised her:
"Just regard him as a roommate or a brother. He makes money to support you, does not disturb your life, and will not interfere with the children's education. Isn't such a life carefree? Can you find such a money-making tool person, isn't it good?"
Although Susan said "yes" on the surface, her heart was full of bitterness.
She used to be the girl who was passionate and reluctant to part in love, and her current life makes her feel suffocated and helpless. Is the rest of her life really going to be spent as a tool person for each other?
In the end, Susan could no longer bear the long-distance marriage and not wanting to become a mere tool person in life, chose to divorce.
No sex means no love. When the physical distance is far, the heart also becomes distant.
Many times, his lack of desire for you does not mean that he has no desire for others.
Lena, who has experienced her man's infidelity, return to the family, and repair their feelings, has a deep understanding of this.
In middle age, Lena found that her man was particularly attentive to the family and doting on herself but lost interest in sex.
At first, Lena thought it was because the man was getting older, under pressure, and his needs were decreasing. The man also comforted her with similar reasons. Although she felt aggrieved, she thought that marriage could not be maintained solely by sex. As long as the man loved her and took care of the family, it was enough, so she didn't ask more.
However, it was not until later that Lena found out that the man's indifference was limited to her and he was full of passion for a woman outside the marriage.
Later, the man ended his affair and returned to the family, and the couple's sex life returned to normal. Ten years have passed, and everything remains the same.
Human nature craves both sustenance and intimacy. The desire for sex, like the desire for love, is a human instinct. Physical intimacy often determines emotional closeness. If the body's needs are suppressed for a long time, either become ill or change heart.
Psychologically speaking:
"The essence of marriage is the exchange of value, seeking nothing more than four types of value - economic value, spiritual value, physiological value, and growth value."
As long as one of these values exists, there is a reason for this marriage to continue. But if all values no longer exist, please immediately let this relationship get out of your life.
Every choice made by adults is a balance of pros and cons. Behind every choice, there are costs and prices.
As long as you make a choice and accept the results with a willing heart, it is the best ending. Otherwise, those desires for both this and that will only gradually devour your life.