Gateway Drug
If there ever was a gateway drug it would not be marijuana it would be alcohol. I was raised to believe that drugs were the "diablo" and everyone associated with them were demons, ( I.E. My friends). We all have heard that saying, "marijuana is a gateway drug- it will lead to harder more fatal drugs. Well If this is true, which might be for some because I can't speak for everyone but myself and I feel that if it was a gateway drug, it was simply because of the curiosity that sparked with ignorance lost. The government, teachers, and society told us that this beautiful flower
is so evil and has no medical potential what so ever.
You see addicts are very curious creatures, in my 15-16 year old head, before I even touched drugs, I was afraid of them. Mostly afraid of dissapointing my parents, getting suspended from school, problems with the law.,... ALL of which exacerbate the situation for a young kid, possibly ruining their higher education, employment etc...but when someone tells you not to do something you tend to ask why? Once one finds out that marijuana is less intoxicating than alcohol and scarcely inhibits your motor skills, you the addict and his logic come to the conclusion that everyone is wrong about the dangers and risk of harder drugs as well.
In fact I would find it hard to call someone who smokes marijuana maybe 2 -3 times a day a junkie or even an addict. Marijuana Is not an addicting (physically) substance, I can stop anytime with horrible withdrawl symptoms of less interest in video games for the week, but you know what I can not kick. These darn Pharmeceuticals that doctors pass out like candy. You see my drug dealer for quite a while was a psychiatrist who drove a benz, why? because he got ME hooked on benzos. I of course can not blame all my problems on big pharma there were other factors of that actually put me in that position.. to feel so anxious and have the need, ( which eventually turned into a want) for my panic attacks.
I however am an addict who has been through some tough relapses, reminding me that I will always be an addict. I don't really know where I am going with this but I have definitely seen some dark days, perhaps by writing it down and sharing I can get a deeper understanding of why I just can't stop.
I personally don't think the harm is in the use, but in the abuse, and most people, will abuse marijuana sooner or later, it is just a matter of time and life circumstances.
I believe, and this is my own opinion that marijuana is a drug, addictive, and destructive. Of course not to the level of other hard drugs that literally take away your life (crack for example), but still. I think all marijuana smokers go into the same drug patterns, which start by euphoria, you know how great you felt when you smoked the first time, smart, zen, loving. And that's the hook, you start searching for that state of mind, not knowing that the more you will smoke the less you will have it. And then the habit is developed and you no more smoke to get high, but simply to get by ( you know, when you reach 3, 4 or 5 grams a day), and your reality becomes the weed reality, you see the world through the marijuana glasses. And when you don't smoke, then comes anxiety, and loss of focus.
There are certain cases, when marijuana becomes the reason of your day, as if your purpose in life is to find pot, and smoke pot. You wake up thinking of that first joint, and you go to bed after smoking the last one of the day, and in between, every occasion is a good one to roll one, 420 all day long. your time actually stops at 420. You might even hang a clock that's stuck on 420 :)
But, quitting marijuana is 10 times easier than quitting smoking, it's really not that big of a deal, but you will need a reason, you need to get to the point where you realize that you are not happy being stones all day. And you will get there, as most people do at a certain age.
Best of luck my friend.
Moderation is the key to everything. I think that even marijuana can become a major problem for some.
There are those that can pick up a drug like pot, painkillers, etc and use it without ever becoming addicted. But then you have those that for whatever reason are prone to addiction. And addiction varies, one may be prone to addiction to one substance but not another.
I personally don't have a problem with benzos. I've taken several different ones for various medical reasons from pain to anxiety. But for those like you who have become addicted there is a stigma attached to it that shouldn't be there.
You're comment about drugs being the "diablo" is a problem that we have in society. Not everyone that abuses drugs are doing it because they want to. Those that admit they have a problem are lumped in with those that choose drugs. It's the difference between being an alcoholic and a drunk.
Good luck. I wish you well in your journey.