Fear of wearing a vest that stinks to high heaven, which causes angels to pass out and fall from the sky.

Attributed to Dr. Macauley Burrows, psychologist who treated D.J. (initials used to protect his identity), the first known suffer of vestreekaphobia.

D.J.’s vestreekaphobia stemmed from a childhood memory of a visit to his grandparents’ horse ranch, when he was about 5 years old. He loved visiting his Nana and Papa because he could wear his cowboy clothes. He especially treasured his suede cowboy vest. He took great delight in the fact that the tassels on the vest flapped as he chased the horses!

On this fateful day, D.J. had gotten it into his head that if he ran fast enough the flapping tassels would lift him into flight like a bird. His plan was to land upon the horse, grab the mane, and ride off into the sunset. With fierce focus and determination, he began to run. He locked his eyes on the horse’s rear as he picked up speed. He could feel the momentum of the flapping tassels building up. He knew in his heart success was near.

And then, the horse lifted its tail and left the motherload of horse manure in its dust. Poor D.J., his right foot hit a bit of the fresh moist waste. Losing his footing he fell, with his chest landing on top of the motherload. Momentarily dazed and confused, the stench of the manure snapped him back to reality.

He righted himself, thinking he would brush it off and continue his quest, then he looked at his chest. He groaned in agony as he saw his beloved cowboy vest covered in manure. Being a quick-thinking, solution oriented young lad, he immediately knew Nana would know how to save the vest. So off he ran, this time focusing on the ground in front of him.

His Nana smelled him before she saw him. Once the stench hit her nose she shouted, “what stinks to high heaven?” She turned and saw D.J. standing there looking dejected and on the verge of tears. She immediately knew he was upset because of the mess on his cowboy vest. She proclaimed, “I will clean it before the angels in heaven get a whiff of that stinky vest, pass out, and start falling from the sky!”

To this day D.J. knows the implications of wearing a vest that stinks to high heaven; angels will pass out and fall from the sky!