The purpose of Forgiving and how not to hold on to Grudges

In our lives, we have in numerous instances made mistakes and endured the mistakes of others and this is only natural as we are not perfect. There can at times be situations in which we hold onto incidences that were wrong, and hold onto them so much grudgingly that it destroys our lives. There needs to be a way to overcome this.

Mistakes that may have been done are like abuse, or hurting someone, or being untruthful or even doing something malicious. In instances of doing this we cause hurt, in which both parties are afffected, the person doing it and also the one at the receiving end. If you have caused something hurtful to another, it’s very much necessary to repent and to make up for it.

In the midst of this comes forgiveness as well, as we can’t go on holding onto grudges. We may have plays in our minds and constantly have tendencies of blaming and want to constantly get even perhaps, but these are detrimental attributes. It doesn’t just make life miserable for the one on the receiving end but for the doer as well, that constantly wants to create hurt for the person they’re aiming at.

Therefore forgiveness is a two way mechanism, it works for the better of the affected and that of the committer of the negative action. Once forgiveness has taken place, there becomes a releasing, in no more holding grudges or having vehement feelings. For if you keep holding onto these, it creates a bond karmically, and both have to endure the suffering for long periods.

Once forgiveness has taken place, it releases this bond for us not to be tied to the individual who did us wrong or who we committed a bad deed against. Forgiveness is a release. Think of the people you’ve hurt, or those who have hurt you, say ‘Sorry’ or ‘I forgive you’, say it in your heart if you don’t have the courage to do so in person. It’d be much better if it’s done alongside some consoling and in person, as that would be meaningful. Find a mediator, or therapst even, if that’s what works best.

But if you can’t, forgive or ask for forgiveness in your own silent way, and mean it. Too much goes on when sorries, apologies and forgivenesses are not said. Too many hearts are broken and too much hurt lingers. Be the stronger, responsible one, and set things right for both you and the other person, and you will from there live with more peace of mind.

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