Only earlier I left my girlfriend a voice message in which I expressed an opinion about the "praise". Praise is a kind of manipulation for me. It is an evaluation. By its very nature, this is little suitable for expressing love. Therefore I equate love with encouragement and inspiration. Love for what does you good and what you are good at. Mitfreude. To rejoice with someone about something, be it his laughter, a success, a refreshing affair. My joy has been somewhat affected by the holidays. I had the impression that I had to give attention to too many people. I felt penetrated by immature narratives and by constantly having to praise someone. It is exhausting to have to tell adults that they have done this or that right, or to listen to them as they spread their business in endless speech. Too much food, alcohol and hollow entertainment. They are the love killers. I withdrew into my world and folded countless papers into origami figures. In the midst of my relatives I did my handicrafts and did not like to be disturbed. People around me have always been disturbed by the fact that I sat in the crowd and was still not approachable for anyone. My first boyfriend at the time, with whom I shared an apartment, was very annoyed to meet me sitting on the sofa reading in the evening, insensitive to his stories and needs that made me impatient and ungracious after a while.

With my man now, I love to talk on weekends in the morning hours. It is a time when we philosophize and talk about principles. This is my favorite time with him. Although we often talk controversially. That is the salt in our soup.

People who don't know what to do with themselves are bothering me. Their constant dependence on the attention of others and their superficial talking becomes more and more averse. But I probably see my own lack of self-love reflected in it and therefore feel anger. Why else should I be angry, if not that I recognize myself?

My ideal wish of a good togetherness is that everyone does what he is best at and all the talk about opinions is stopped. Teaching each other how to behave in social situations is nothing but trouble. So you usually act in the name of another (family member) without an order and you only get displeasure and incomprehension. But then I think: Well, conflicts cannot be avoided and they belong to it. Love? What is this other thing than having the tolerance that you don't always like what other people do or don't do?

But the less speeches involved, the better. I know that I cannot control my family. Because if I could, I would prescribe a project for everyone and assign them a task in which they get something creative to do and are satisfied with it when it is done.

No, it's really not your fault you didn't take care of the fence. You didn't ask for it, so you can't be responsible for it. Causes for the lack of cordiality of your neighbour are idle. All you can do is keep trying and waiting for her to return your kindness at some point. If not, then not. You can't change it. However, I have experienced with my neighbours that penetrating friendliness helps. I give them unasked leftover cakes or ask for favors with the conscious intention that this enriches the neighbourhood and that we don't always feel like strangers to each other. Put biscuits or something else in front of the door. She may respond with love at some point. Neighbourhoods only develop over many years as we know. You might think it's not worth the effort. Most of them never stay so long that an effect occurs. Nevertheless.