The Saddest End - Part 1

I, in teenage, had been through lots of problems like economically, mentally and some family problem.
Problems which made me to commit suicide and I never wished to live.
I wanted to die for I could not bear whatever was happening to me.
But could a single line make you die daily though you're still breathing?
Could a single promise encourage you to live until you satisfy?

Yes! Indeed!
It was the moment I was feeling such emotional stuff.

I was a simple dude with intelligent mind, being topper school, I was quite famous.Well not a single girl attracted even though I was topper.
You know why?
Indian culture! Indeed!
Girls used to think I was a sincere boy, so I would never attempt to jump in relationship stuff.
Well, it was like I was more than 8 years, and planned to go school for Republic Day program being held in school on 26 January.
I was a quite older but still a kid for family, so no one took me school.
I stayed home.

Suddenly I thought, why can't I join primary school near to my home?
Uh..I stood up, and ran out of home.
I entered school and I was amazed people sitting there in very big amount.
Dance, music and lots of patriotic songs were repeat to play.
Someone announced about next dance, ah..probably school teacher announced.
I was stood there but scared, if someone came and threw me out then?
Uh?
But it didn't mean to happen.
So next girls came, age would be 7-8 years old, 2 beautiful girls in pair wearing black dress.
As soon dance started, I was shocked watching those moves, I was totally amazed.
Only 2 thought was in head,

"Who that girl is?"
"I never saw here before, is she from somewhere out?".

Well as it finished, I went out of school and got back to home so that no one could find out, I was out of home.
After some days I came across with that girl, and followed her to her home, and thus I found out,
She was grand daughter of ChaCha Ji.

You'll be thinking who's ChaCha Ji( Uncle Ji).?

Ah…..He is old man, occupying a glossary shop, and I always went there to buy daily stuff.
Now I figured out when she came out, when she went home back..
So I used to go and see her, see her smiling face, see her beautiful hairs, those lovely pair eyes.And it was turning out to be more complicated.
I was just like a person who is simply unable to say his crush.
She was my crush?
No!
I... I started liking her, but why so much attraction?
Not a single day went off without seeing her.
My life was going to a new path but still I had some reasons to cry.
I was from poor family, with a habitual drunken father, earned less, spent more.So much poverty, so much sadness, so much bad condition in home.
And if you found a chance to be happy, wasn't it worth?
Likewise, I went out to see that girl, I could not.I could not sense her.
It was unexpected.And I didn't even know where she had gone..

To whom I could have asked?

NO ONE!

Now! I had 2 questions in head!

"Where she has gone?".
"Whether she has gone or not, why I am so sad?"

I felt I lost my chance to be happy.Gloomy days, gloomy night.I didn't tell anyone.Summer vacation started and finished.And I was spending every day without seeing her.How life changes!It just took 1 instant to be happy,
And another instant I got back to life.

Life, for someone could be luxurious, but for me, it was painful and final option to get rid off it was committing suicide.Leaving everything and everyone behind.

After 3 Years I forgot her, obviously it had to be..
And it was easy to forget( Damn problems didn't let me think of her).
I fell in love with a girl named Preeti,Did my best to let her know I loved her the most.But destiny would never let it happen if it was never meant to be.Once I was crazy for that unknown girl and now I was for this girl.

Was I pervert?

Quite difficult question.
Indeed!

A simple and worst chat with Preeti goes like this

"I love you and I really do" said I,
"Well, see yourself, see your face, you've no match with me, like I am quite richer than you can imagine" said She.

"I...(had nothing to say)... I will never let you go" said I.
"When did you have me so you won't let me go??" Said She.

"Is money important or love? Why so rude to me? My love would last long!"
"Oh yeah? Kiddo! Go and find another girl suitable for a guy like you! Poor mad guy!
Fuck off!" Said she.

Such worst conversation I never expected to have.
Well it was what my life wanted to give me.
And I still had 2 question.

"Why I am so attracted to her? Is it love or else?
"Why my life is so worse? Why God never look after me?"

I wished to have a painless and stress less life but God had no kind nature for me.God was up above, looking after his children, but every day I had problems.Problems were my best friends.Never let me down in any moment.
Always staying with me even in happy moment.

Fuck!

How a single man could live after losing the one he loved?
I lived! I was living!I wasted my 4 years life to forget that girl.
It took me more time than forgetting unknown one.
Family problems were going lower.Father wasn't changed but brother had got a job.Now money problem was certainly solved.