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RE: OK HERE GOES....MY FIRST SHORT STORY.
I'm going to disagree with "goingpaper." I thought this was very well written and I rather enjoyed how you described Sara at the water fountain, the tripping scene, and the food at the restaurant. It did feel slightly rushed, but it was good. You said this is part of a longer story, right?
Aw, shucks. Yeah. I have two other chapters right now. The first one is much different. This is actually chapter two. Not ready to share it yet...I'll let you know. Thanks for the post!
You're welcome. Us writers need to stick together. There are a few writers here that post their ongoing stories by chapter and gradually start earning pretty good rewards and get picked up by whale bots. Something you might want to consider. Also, if you have the time, head over to https://steemit.chat/. It's a good way to reach more people and to share your posts, shamelessly beg for votes, engage with other users, etc.
If you're looking for a fairly decent story, I have a two-part story about something that happened on a recent trip to Costa Rica. It's called, "How to Set Your Rental Car on Fire." If you feel like giving it a read, I'd appreciate any feedback on it - good or bad.