Listening is a Lost Art

I teach actors techniques on how to be better in the audition room. And one of the things that works most effectively is listening. I'm so glad that I teach it to actors, because when they learn this particular skill really well, it carries through out into their regular lives.

In my opinion, most people hear better than they listen. I believe that most people usually just wait for their turn to talk, and only await certain cue words in any given conversation to pipe in with their two cents. Sometimes people don't even wait for that, they just wait for an opportunity to interject with what they have to say, just for no other reason than to say it.

So, here's a couple of suggestions for being a better listener from an acting point of view. When in conversation: 1) Give that person your full attention, in that you're observing them and their body language as well as hearing their words. 2) Allow the words and the demeanor of the person that you are speaking with to affect you emotionally and viscerally. I call this listening with your body. 3) Don't speak unless you have something to say. You can interject small words of agreement, but save the long responses for when you actually have one, or if you're asked to respond by the person you are in conversation with.

People love to feel heard. And if more of us would employ some of the suggestions above, more people I believe would feel listened to.

WARM HUGS