Most of the times when people talk with a stranger or anyone other than close family and friends, after greeting and asking about health and work, people have nothing to carry on the conversation. In other words, both the parties get stuck and an awkward situation arises. Eventually, both parties get confused about what to talk and how to talk.

In this post, I am sharing four techniques to overcome the inability to communicate effectively.

1. Asking Open Questions.

Usually, when people meet, they ask closed questions from each other. Closed questions mean questions which can be answered with either 'Yes' or 'No' or a very short reply. The close questions encourage the other party to give a short reply.

For example, John meets Blake at a party of their mutual friend and asks him "What is your name?", Blake replies, "I am Blake." John asks, "What do you do?". Blake answers, "I am a doctor". Now at this point, John is struggling to carry on the conversation because rapport is not being built between them.

Whereas, open questions are those that encourage the other party to answer in detail. The detailed answer leads to further discussion. For example, taking John's example again. After asking for Blake's name, John could ask, "What do you like the most about such parties?". Now it is not possible for Blake to give a short reply or yes or no. Blake replies, "I like to grow my social circle by meeting new people at such parties." This way conversation expands between them. This is an example of an open question because it encourages people to speak more and still if the other party seems disinterested in the conversation, then it is better for you to end the talk after greeting.

2. Threading

According to above-stated technique, a person should not only keep asking open questions again and again while discussion. Instead, after asking an open question, he should listen to the answer with concentration. Let's continue John's example when Blake replied that he likes to meet new people at parties. Now if John replies, "Wow! that is cool. Does your meeting with people turns into friendship?". This reply of John shows that he actively listened to Blake makes Blake feel connected This reply leads to further discussion. Such attitude will build up a rapport between them.

3. Using Question words

If you are totally blank in a situation when you think it is necessary to carry on the talk then you have to use Question words to expand the conversation. Questions words are WHAT, WHY, WHICH, WHEN, HOW, WHO, WHERE. These words open up a variety of ideas. The listener would have to answer them with an explanation.

4. Talking in colors

When people are telling stories there are some who use boring words to describe even great experiences. On the other hand, some people use rich vocabulary to describe their experiences irrespective of the fact that they are dull or unattractive incidents in a way that the listener feels as if he is himself present in the scene being described. Thus, its necessary to have a colorful conversation in order to engage the listeners.

---

I have summarized these points from the book "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" by Nicholas Boothman. You can read it for more details and explanations regarding these points.

---

Thanks, for Reading!

Please Upvote, Follow and Resteem to express Some Love! Don't forget to comment If you have any questions, I would be glad to help and If you people have any advice for me, I would love to hear.

Image Source :- https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/181727.How_to_Make_People_Like_You_in_90_Seconds_or_Less