School bullying: A teens experience

If you don't fit, you need fixing

The following story is a true story

I'm 15, I attend a catholic high school and I just don't fit in. I have only one close friend like me he doesn't believe in the rules, the religion or the way the other students treat each other, however he wants to fit in because he wants to be more popular. I have no desire to be popular. I don't want to be like the other students because I don't like the people they are becoming. My recess and lunch break is spent sitting silently with a group of nasty and disrespectful students. I hang with them because that is where my friend wants to be and I don't want to be on my own. They like to call each other disgusting names, slap each other hard on the bum, throw hats and shoes on the roof or in the bin, pull each others pants down, make fun of how others talk. They find this amusing. I don't find it amusing, so I try to stand in the background and not be noticed, doesn't always work.

Once I tried to fit in, one of the boys grabbed my shoe and the other boys pressured me into getting it off of him by being violent. I got my shoe back after physically hurting him. I know how to fight, I've been learning martial arts since I was 8. I felt so bad after, even after I apologised I still felt guilty. What I did went against everything I believed in. I learn martial arts because I love the art form and to use as self defence if I am physically threatened, not because some stupid kid stole my shoe and because of peer group pressure. There was one other time I succumed to peer group pressure,( mostly because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time). We had a school assembly I had to quickly go to the toilet, when I got to the toilet my best friend and some other boys were in there. They had decided to wag the assembly so they convinced me to stay. I didn't want to but my best friend was there and the other boys were really giving me a hard time, so I stayed. We were caught, which wasn't so much an issue for me because I knew my parents would be understanding. I found out the assembly was about helping poor and disadvantaged people in third world countries, this made me feel really bad because it's a subject that's important to me.

Due to being around such horrible peers, I now suffer with social anxiety, I find it really hard to mix with others. I also struggle to concentrate and focus in class because I have a slight learning disability and because of the noise and the distraction created by the unruly students. As a result it's having an affect on my grades.
Bullying from my early years at school made me less sociable, so I've had counselling on and off since I was 7. My learning disability has been assessed several times. With every assessment they found that in most areas I was actually academically above average for my age. My learning problem is worsened by distraction and emotions. Teachers advised my parents to take me to a behavioural optometrist, this is when we discovered I have a processing disorder. This means it takes me longer to process information and distractions and noise only make it worst. Apparently there are quite a few students at my school with this disorder.

I am so tired of people thinking because I'm different, I need fixing, when I believe that school and society are what really need fixing. So many of us learn differently and traditional school methods don't work for everyone. The school needs fixing. The school needs to be educated in alternative methods of teaching. The way they are teaching now is not working for many of us. They have to know this. Allowing students to be noisy and unruly in class is another thing they need to change. The disrespectful and cruel way Students are treating and talking to each other needs to be stopped.

We should be wanting a society where people are respectful, compassionate and understanding towards each other .It needs to be fixed. I guess it's a too big of a job to fix these things, so it's much easier to say that I'm the one who needs fixing. "He needs toughening up if he's going to survive in this world, He needs to learn how to deal with the criticism, the name calling, the harassment, the distractions, the noise." I disagree, It's society and the school system that needs fixing not the good guy that wants the world to be a better place.

Link: https://www.buckfirelaw.com/library/student-bullying-in-united-states-statistics-and-facts.cfm

Statistics:
Verbal bullying (this includes mental bullying) is the most common type with around 77 percent of students at sometime being victims. 14 percent of the 77 react badly to the bullying and will suffer from poor self esteem, anxiety and depression which could result in suicidal thoughts. Around one in five students admit to being bully's. It is also believed violence has increased in many schools. In many cases no intervention is made by the school.

link: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/school-bullying-statistics.html

This is happening to our children, the ones we love more than anything in life, the young innocent ones we are suppose to protect.

So many times have I heard excuses like "oh well, boys will be boys! they will soon learn for themselves! It's survival of the strongest in this world! It will make the weak stronger!" Parents need to start taking responsibility for their child's bad behaviour and stop making excuses for this behaviour, set themselves up as a good role model and when they need to, be there for them. Parents, Carers, teachers all those involved in the life of a youth need to intervene when they see them doing or saying something wrong. We need to educate our youth on what is right and what is wrong so we can make this world a safer and happier place for future generations.