If you want to grow and move on to better things, you have to give up the things that hold you back.

in #life8 years ago

  

  1. Give up pretending that you have to be who you used to be.  – When times get tough, our worst battle is often between what we  remember and what we presently feel.  Thus, one of the hardest decisions  you will ever have to make is when to stay put and struggle harder or  when to take your memories and move on.  Sometimes you have to step  outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were  meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you  truly are today.
  2. Give up berating yourself for everything you aren’t.  – Being kind to yourself in thoughts, words and actions is as important  as being kind to others.  Extend yourself this courtesy.  Love yourself  – your real self.  Work through your fears (dive deep), your  insecurities (speak honestly and loudly), and your anger (scream into  the pillow – not into the mirror, nor the people you care about; they  don’t deserve it.)  Instead of hurting yourself by hiding from your  problems, help yourself grow beyond them.  That’s what self-care is all  about.  It’s about facing the inner issues that make you believe that  you are less than you are.  It’s learning to see that you are already  beautiful.  Not because you’re blind to your shortcomings, but because  you know they have to be there to balance out your strengths. 
  3. Give up regretting, and holding on to, what happened in the past.  – When you stay stuck in regret of the life you think you should have  had, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have.  Not all the  puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time  you’ll realize they do, perfectly.  So thank the things that didn’t work  out, because they just made room for the things that will.  And thank  the ones who walked away from you, because they just made room for the  ones who won’t.  As they say, every new beginning comes from another  beginning’s end.
  4. Give up getting caught up in the negativity surrounding you. – To be positive in negative times is not just foolish optimism.  It is based on the fact that human  history is a history not only of tragedy, but also of success,  sacrifice, courage, kindness, and growth.  What we choose to emphasize  in this complex history will determine how well we live.  If we look  only for the worst, it destroys our capacity to do our best work.  If we  remember those times and places – and there are many – in which people  have behaved magnificently, and things have gone well, this gives us the  energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning  world in a different direction.  And if we do act, in however small a  way, we don’t have to sit around and wait for some grandiose and perfect  future.  The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live  right now as we think we should live, in defiance of all the negativity  around us, is in itself an amazing victory.
  5. Give up thinking that everyone else has it so much easier than you.  – When times get really tough, remember this simple truth: Nothing  that’s worthwhile is ever easy.  And when you’re struggling with  something that’s important to you, and you feel like your life isn’t  fair, look at all the people around you and realize that every single  person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as  hard as what you’re going through.
  6. Give up wanting to be where others are in life.  – Stop comparing where you’re at with where everybody else is.  It  doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find  happiness.  It just fuels feelings of inadequacy and shame, and  ultimately keeps you stuck.  The truth is, there is no one correct path  in life.  A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a  path that’s right for you.  And that’s OK.  Your journey isn’t right or  wrong, or good or bad – it’s just different.  Your life isn’t meant to  look exactly like anyone else’s because you aren’t exactly like anyone  else.  You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals,  obstacles, dreams, and needs.  So stop comparing and start living.  You  may not always end up where you intend to go, but you will eventually  arrive precisely where you need to be.  Trust that you are in the right  place at the right time, right now.  And trust yourself to make the best  of it. 
  7. Give up letting the judgments of strangers control you.  – People know your name, not your story.  They’ve heard what you’ve  done, but don’t understand what you’ve been through.  So take their  opinions of you with a grain of salt.  In the end, it’s not what others  think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts.  Sometimes you  have to do exactly what’s right for you and your life, without giving a  darn what your life looks like to everyone who doesn’t even know you.
  8. Give up letting toxic relationships bring you down on a daily basis.  – Not all toxic relationships are agonizing and uncaring on purpose.   Some of them involve people who care about you – people who have good  intentions, but are toxic because their needs and way of existing in the  world force you to compromise yourself and your happiness.  They aren’t  inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people to be spending  time with every day.  And as hard as it is, we have to distance  ourselves enough to give ourselves space to live.  You simply can’t ruin  yourself on a daily basis for the sake of someone else.  You have to  make your well-being a priority.  Whether that means breaking up with  someone, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend,  or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have  every right to leave and create some healthy space for yourself.  
  9. Give up over-thinking and worrying about everything.  – When your fears and anxieties have you looking too deep into things,  it creates problems – it doesn’t fix them.  If you think and you think  and you think, you will think yourself right out of happiness a thousand  times over, and never once into it.  Worrying doesn’t take away  tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential.  And  life is too short for that.
  10. Give up believing you aren’t strong enough to take another step forward.  – It’s always possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems.  In  time, the grief (the lessons) may not go away completely, but after  awhile it’s not so overwhelming.  So breathe…  You’re going to be OK.   Remember that you’ve been in this place before.  You’ve been this  uncomfortable and restless and afraid, and you’ve survived.  Take  another breath and know that you can survive this time too.  These  feelings can’t break you.  They’re painful and draining, but you can sit  with them and eventually, they will pass.  Maybe not immediately, but  sometime soon they’re going to fade, and when they do you’ll look back  at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
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I love your write up, makes me a little emotional but in a good way. Keep posting and sharing. 👍🏼