How to let something new into your life
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how the days seem the same. Wake up, work, go home, sleep, then repeat. It feels like someone hit replay on an old record. Many clients mention this too: "Life is like running on a hamster wheel — I run, but I get nowhere."
One woman admitted she’s lived on a set schedule for months — kids, cooking, watching TV — with no joy. Another man said his job takes up all his energy, leaving nothing for anything else. How do we break free from this cycle?
Let’s explore why we get stuck and how to bring new things into our lives.
What keeps us stuck?
Routine isn’t just a habit. It’s a system that slowly pulls us in. I remember dreaming of traveling when I was young. Then I realized I had been taking the same route to work for five years.
Many clients share similar stories: they want a different life but start every day with the same alarm and coffee mug. This isn’t accidental. Our mind craves stability because it makes us feel in control. But there’s a downside.
We stop noticing how days blend into one gray blur. A woman with kids said she can’t remember the last time she truly laughed. Her life became a list of chores, not moments of joy.
A man with a job said he feels like a robot — doing things but not really living. Routine feels good at first but can suffocate us over time.
I often ask clients: “What’s stopping you from trying something new?” The answers are similar: “No time,” “Tired,” or “Everything is fine, why bother?” One man wanted to take dance lessons but kept saying he was too busy relaxing with the news each evening.
Another wanted to start drawing but said he had no time because of work and family. We set limits for ourselves without realizing it. When we were kids, we learned to put work first. My dad used to say: “Do your homework first, then go outside.”
That voice still echoes inside: “Work first, then rest.” But as adults, we often wait for ‘later,’ and that moment never comes. We stay stuck because we’re afraid to break the routine we made.
Another reason is fatigue. Routine drains our energy so we feel too tired to try new things. A client said he switches off at night and just sits on the couch. But here’s the catch: we don’t change because we are tired, and we’re tired because we don’t change. It becomes a cycle.
Routine is more than a schedule. It’s a way we handle stress inside. In therapy, there’s a simple idea called schema therapy. We all have a Child part that wants joy and freedom, and an Inner Parent that wants order.
When they fight, the louder side wins. For the man who wanted to dance, his Inner Parent kept saying: “Earn money first.” For the woman who wanted to draw, her Inner Parent said: “Think about the kids.” The Child part stays quiet, and life keeps passing by.
Fear is a big reason why we stick to routines. People fear change, mistakes, and failure. One man said: “What if I start something new, and it’s all for nothing?” His childhood told him not to take risks. Now he’s afraid to step outside his comfort zone. Routine becomes a safe place, but it also leaves us feeling empty.
Getting out of the wheel isn’t about a big jump all at once. It’s about small steps that bring us closer to ourselves. I did this myself. Instead of scrolling on my phone at night, I chose to read a book I wanted to finish.
It felt strange at first, but after a week, I noticed I felt happier. Clients share similar stories. One woman began walking instead of watching TV. A man started stretching every morning instead of reading news. It’s not a big change, but it’s a start.