How does our relationship with our parents affect our personal life?
Our parents guide us as we grow. Their influence stays with us, good or bad. We often act like our parents. Maybe it's a saying from our mom or a habit from our dad. Sometimes these habits help us. Other times, they cause problems.
How much do our parents affect us? Are we destined to repeat their mistakes? Can we overcome a parent's absence? How do our first relationships shape our future love life?
Psychologist Arslan Mirny says our mother teaches us how to live. She shows us right and wrong. We learn her knowledge and her feelings. A mother's energy creates balance in a child. She helps us become independent and flexible.
Problems with trust may come from our relationship with her. A father's role supports the mother's role. He helps us use what we learn. He teaches us to stand up for ourselves. He shows us how to be responsible and make choices.
If a father is missing, it's hard to replace him. Grandmothers and mothers often raise children in Russia. If a child hears that his father is bad, his role is lessened. A boy may not learn what a man does in a family.
Later, he might seek someone who gives without expecting anything back. A girl without a father may struggle with relationships. She didn't see a good example as a child. She might end up in a harmful relationship because she lacks self-worth.
Some think we pick partners like our opposite-sex parent. This is partly true. Men often seek women like their mothers, says the psychologist. Even if the mother hid her feelings, the man will often want that type of woman.
Women, on the other hand, are guided by their mother's feelings, not their father. If a mother felt abandoned, her daughter may expect the same. She may attract partners who confirm her fears because she expects bad things from men.