Minimalism And Parenting - When Less Is More

in #life2 years ago

When my first daughter was born, I was living in a house, with my ex partner, where we were working together to convert an old Mercedes 811 D bus, into our home. I had already lived in a van, when I was in Australia and I loved living nomadically and could really see, the many advantages of raising a family that way.

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One of the greatest things I have learnt, is that the less I own, the happier that I am. Because it allows me to connect more with who I really am. Having many possessions, prevents us from taking full responsibility for ourselves. Because instead of our focus turning inwards, it is turned outwards instead.

When I became a parent, I realised how little our babies/children need in order to thrive. Society may try and push all these things on us, saying how it will make our lives easier, but actually a lot of them take you away from your baby.

I chose to wear all my children, until they could walk themselves. They also slept with me in my bed, until they were ready to move out themselves. Both of these things seemed like the most natural thing for me to do. I could not imagine, not having them close to me, as they were beginning to discover the world around them and shape their first impressions of it.

Being present for them, seemed like the most important thing I could do for them, after providing them shelter and nourishment (in the form of my breast milk).

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They have and continue to spend most of their childhood outdoors, where they get to invent their own games and use the resources around them, to bring those games to life. Playing, is one of the best ways in which they can learn. Helping them to become more resourceful and confident, whilst problem solving and creating.

When our children have less things around them, less things to distract them, they are more intune with what they actually need. If you give them a lot of things, then they expect to get a lot of things all of the time. They get used, to using different gadgets to pass the time, rather than creating their own entertainment.

It is the way in which we live ourselves, that has the biggest impact on our children. We can talk to them about certain principles, but unless we too, are living by them, then why should they. Then there is less of a need for words and instead they can be guided by our actions.

When I made the decision, that I did not want my children to eat sugar and wheat when they were very young, I also made the decision, to stop eating them as well.

My children are growing up, to be very resourceful. I love to watch them create whole worlds, using natural materials or items that they have sourced themselves. (We are lucky that we have a giveaway boat near to where we live.)

Because we live in a small space, they understand that we can not gather a lot of things and also that the money I make, is spend on buying wholesome food for the whole family. They rarely ask me for something. I am very honest about the means by which we live.

They do get lots of gifts on their birthdays and at Solstice, so usually if they want something they ask if they can get it for either of those occasions.

I have never really faced challenges with my girls, when it comes to what they can and can't have. I am honest about the fact that there is only so much we can possess and that at the end of the day, it is what we possess on the inside that is most important, not what we have to show on the outside.

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As they have grown up (especially my eldest daughter) and now see the world in a different way and become more exposed to the world at large, I can see why they ask for more things. There friends tend to own more possesses and it's normal that they want, what their friends have.

So we talk about the things we do have, the fact that we have many animal companions that need our time also and that, what we get from them and our relationships with the people in our lives, far exceeds what we will ever have, from owning things.

My girls don't ever go without, what they need. They are very good at finding ways to make things happen, which is probably one of the most important things, that they should hold onto as they grow up. Because it is something that many people lose, this self belief that they can achieve anything.

Anything, that really aligns with who they are. In order for them to know who they are, they first need to have the space to discover that and the skills to achieve it, which all come from within!

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