This isn't how life's supposed to be. Is it?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

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Am I mad as a hatter? Probably!

Bare with me and I`ll share the short version of my life situation as of right now. 

So let me break it down quickly. I have about $70k in creditcard debt at around 18% interest. No way to refinance it, get help or work my way out of it. I have been on wellfare for more or less 5 years straight now. I have been living in my car for over a year, 1 year and 1 month to be exact. I will be "celebrating" my birthday on the 20th of february. Turning 33 years old. There isn't cause for much celebration. I have no money, no network, no love life, no income more than just to exist and barely that. Mounting and growing debt. So many and complex psychiatric disorders I am getting a psychiatrist specialist. To name a few. Depression, ADHD, postponed sleeping disorder, insomnia, PTSD (for shit I'm not gonna go into), anxiety, schizofrenia, suicidal and the list goes on.

That is just the skeleton that holds up all of my other issues! Needless to say I find myself in between a rock and a hard place as it were. So let me get in a little deeper if you're still following me.

I am and have been in panic mode for the last few years, the longer I have been stuck in the system and on wellfare my mind has rotted away. I have been yelling my throat sore trying to get some help in any aspect, financial and healthwise for years on end. Finally just now and I mean just now, I am being offered some help.  I have had to fight and almost die in the process, waiting and trying to keep myself from not doing some stupid shit. Finally you could say that this is the begining of the end trying to get mental help. 

Financially I find myself in a situation I can't get out of. I can't get an apartment due to my bad credit, I've been trying to get some place to live for months now. I don't know if you have ever been cold at night and waking up freezing cold, and I mean like really fucking cold. Sleeping with all of your clothes on, hat, several blankets and you're still fucking FREE-ZING kinda cold. I think you can understand why I get a bit tired of life now and then.

I'm sitting in my car hunched over with a poor wifi signal from the house I'm parked outside, the conditions for making a killer post isn't really present. I had big plans about the future when I first Joined Steemit in November 25th 2016. I was full of creativity, ambition, hope and drive! However life decided to throw more shit at me than I could handle. All of my waking time and even haunted me in my sleep I worried, stressed, paniced, cursed and generally loathed every second of the day. 

I became a human doing instead of a human being. What can I do? What can I do? 24/7 365 days of the year. What am I gonna do? I burned myself out with that repetative and open question. I have wrecked my brain trying to find a way out, a loophole, get out of jail free card. There are none to be found. I face a future as a debt slave, where the math just don't add up. I have never really had a girlfriend in my life, how do you go about that when you have nothing to offer other than debt and misery. Sure my heart is flowing over with love to give to whoever wants to accept it! I can't begin to describe the feeling of loneliness, that I could write books about.

There is vastly much more I could share with you guys, go into detail about every little thing but I don't really need nor want pitty or sympathy. I am trying to look forward, get my head on straight again. Become reborn as a human being! Let go of all of these heavy thoughts that is dimming my very essense.

What have you come up with after all this "What can I do" thinking of yours? You might ask.

I have got to embrace the cryptorevolution that is going on, learn it, love it, live it. That is the only way I see myself getting myself out of this hell hole I am in. I am grinding rock bottom and got little energy to spare after going circles around myself gasping for air, but I am forcing myself to go into more than survival mode. I need to start hoping again, when you got hope you got life. 

I got a big portion of hope from a friend of mine, a friend I've had for years now. Just by talking over email, never met the guy in my life and just once have we talked on the phone! He is doing well in the crypto space, and I've learned a fair bit from him. He's been sending me good info and places to learn more, I am diving into it but learning slowly. I was and still is super grateful for all of his support. Not only has he helped me with moral support when I have been down, he gave me a hand up as he called it worth $1000 in bitcoin! I was totally blown away by the generousity, I had no words. Thank you wouldn't suffice. Worth more than money is that he believed in me and that I can and will get the life I deserve. I have got to work my ass off for it, no doubt about that. There will be days I break down, but I got a reason to get back up now. 

So what I did with that $1000 worth of bitcoin, I let it sit in my blockchain account. Just a few days after I got them the market plummeted... Curseeeeees I thought, must be my bad luck I broke bitcoin! Bitcoin and the economy would rather collapse and die rather than let me try to get a piece of the pie, to be able to live a modest and full life! The $1000 worth of bitcoin was now halved pretty much and I waited impatiently as all new cryptocurrency holders... Patience is a virtue I do not posess. I started looking for ways to grow and multiply my modest BTC holdings. I found one place to stick my coins called USI-Tech they are launching their own ICO btw. I haven't withdrawn anything from them I am at a 100% reinvest. I am holding $500 worth of BTC packages as they call it. So I ain't getting rich anytime soon just of that. I got myself another income stream, I bought the Profit Trailer bot on valentines day as a gift to myself ;). I bought it through Crypto Crow if you are familiar with that guy. Here is a video of Profit Trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcpo1MMFSMw I am using his settings too on my account. This is a screenshot of my trading account backoffice. I am holding alot of bags at the moment as BTC is going on a bull run, but they'll come back in the green with a profit sooner or later.

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I am betting everything on cryptocurrency going forward. No debt collector can get a hold of it, and I will be able to build up some capital so I can buy out those loans in time. This isn't going to be a race, but a process. A beacon of hope I can work my way towards. I can see it taking a few years to get a new lease on life instead of an eternal grind for the next 25+ years, and that's just to get to ground zero again!

To wrap this up. I am trying to find the energy to become more active in here. I will be sharing my results from Profit Trailer and a little from my personal life if that is interesting reading for some of you?. You just saw my results so far above. 

If you want to help me and give me a hand up I am not too proud to accept it. It would help immensly! If my story jives with you there are many ways to give a hand up. Repost, follow, upvote, donate or just say hi!

I'll leave my deposit address for my trading account with Binance, every donation will be appreciated greatly! Be sure to leave a message so I can thank you personally! And don't worry I will pay it forward someday! :-)

BTC deposit address:  

1CyYMtrFsXLwy27obCKFGPDaC2jUQbnuBB 

Sincere THANK YOU for reading.