How to adult from 0-60 part 1.

This year has been a crazy one for me. I started as a tenure-track professor, moved across the country, bought a house, adopted a dog and had a kid. It's been a whirlwind for me. Let's start at the beginning. Because while that sounds pretty crazy, it gets worse.

Getting a tenure-track position is like making in professional sports, they are hard to get and it takes a lot of work, dedication to get one... Within the academic circle, there is often something called a "two-body problem" which is two tenure-track people in a long-term relationship rarely get to be close to each other. I had two on-site interviews this year. One of them was near my family in the mid-west and the other was a commute away from where my girlfriend works as a tenure-track professor (all things condered, this was my dream job).

The night after I finished my interview at the school on the east coast, my girlfriend came to the hotel for the evening. We went down to the bar, I ordered a beer and turned to her and asked what she was going to have... she said "water, and we need to talk..." I knew it immediately. We're having a baby, I was in a 100% panic mode.

I don't know how well I did at the job interview, but it doesn't matter, I'm moving here in the summer. I'll get a job in industry, I'll make money online, I'll be productive. It will work out.... That was the end of January. I had another on-site job interview a couple weeks later, so I flew up early to surprise my mom on her bday, rented a car and headed into the frozen wastelands of the wintery Midwest. I couldn't tell a soul. I didn't even want the job at this school. During the interview I nailed it, there was no pressure, cool as a fucking cucumber on ice in the fridge.

When I returned to my post-doc, I told my boss what was about to happen to me. How I was going to be a father, how I was moving regardless of the outcome. The next 3 weeks felt like 6 months. One day in seminar I get two phone calls, one from school #2 and then within 3 minutes, a phone call from school #1. They both leave voicemails but I have to sit through a seminar before I can listen. I cannot leave as I'm stuck in a small room and the speaker is between me and the door. I check my email and school #1 sent a letter from the dean asking to talk on the phone if I'm still interested in the position. (Hell yes!)

When seminar ends, I try to call the schools, but it's past closing time due to the time changes, now instead of waiting 60 min to talk, I have to wait 16 hours to call. The night crawled by, I didn't sleep very well, the next day I was up with the sun and emailing everyone I could think of and asking questions about what to do/say for negotiation.

So, I have a professor position, mission #1 accomplished. Mission #2, buy a house from the other side of the country. The city I lived in and the city I moved to had airports so I was fortunate to get really really cheap flights at the drop of a hat. Round trip tickets for $80! (Hell yes!). During the months of March, April, May and June I traveled to the east coast. Doctor visit here, house trip there. Return, repeat.

The last trip up, we had settled on two houses, one was considerably more than the other. We put an offer on the cheaper foreclosed house for 25k less than the listing (my realtor is a badass) and the bank accepted because it was a foreclosure. There is a lot of work to do around the house still, but I would have a month or so to do it. When I flew back, the next time could be forever.