How to avoid manipulation in daily life
Being able to spot manipulation is very important. Manipulation can leave us feeling powerless, which is uncomfortable.
Why is this so important?
Because we often only realize we were manipulated after the damage is done. For instance, if someone lies to you. They promise specific terms in a contract, but when you get it, the details have changed. Now you might have to go to court, fight, or just accept it and stay quiet.
Another reason is that even if we see manipulation, we don’t always want to fight it.
For example, you might know your ex-wife is using a broken fridge as an excuse to see you. If you refuse, you might feel guilty. If you agree, you may feel like you’re betraying yourself. It can seem like there’s no good choice.
How to avoid manipulation
First, don't be afraid to appear imperfect. I like the idea in the book titled "The Courage to Not Be Liked." Not worrying about being disliked means having the courage to be yourself, even if it makes others unhappy. This kind of bravery can help you step away from manipulative situations.
Don’t be shy about admitting you don’t know something. I made up that phrase just to illustrate the point.
Remember, each moment is unique. Today is only today, and tomorrow is another "only today."
Seeing one part of a situation can be like looking at a photo of two people. Then, you realize the photo is cropped, and more people are hidden from view. The picture is incomplete.
For example, if you’re threatened with a fine for not finishing work on time, you might obsess about that fine. But forget that there are laws, a contract, witnesses, and other details. The full picture includes many facts that could change your view.
Imagine you’re tired of shouting in your family. Now, you’re happy with your spouse because you don’t yell at each other. But maybe you’re trying to make the relationship perfect. You see your partner as a hero, not as an abuser. Maybe he seems like a saver because he helped you escape chaos.
Sometimes, the person who promises to help us or saves us is someone outside our family. Other times, we imagine that person because we deeply want a hero.
But no one is perfect. There are good people, but no perfect ones. Behind the idea of a perfect person might be manipulation. It’s like an attractive price that seems too good to be true.
Final thoughts
Sometimes, avoiding manipulation only takes a little courage. The courage to not care if others like us. The courage to question what’s happening around us.