December sadness 😭

It is quiet common to come across a person who hates December. It may be because of loss of family or the end of another year.

It took me 15 years to come out of this feeling. December reminded me about my mum who died on the 15th of December. It also reminded me of my dad who died in January (10 earlier).

It would hit me as soon as the month arrived. I would become distant and anxious. I would keep waiting for another loss or tragedy. After years of waiting for this feeling to pass, I decided to get help. I was diagnosed with depression. The word depression has a stigma attached to it.

I have a blessed life. I love my husband and kids. But, I still felt empty. My husband kept thinking that I did not want to be with him. I just could not express my thoughts and feelings. I just wanted to sleep forever.

December 2016, was when I finally had enough of this feeling. I went to my GP, and told her how I was feeling. It felt awesome that someone understood what was happening to me. No judgment or comments. I started with anti-depressants immediately. I felt calmer after the first week. By the third week, I could actually go site seeing on holiday.

It only occurred to me this year 2018, how much stronger I have become. I'm happier and much more pleasant when confronted by a difficult client. My Boss commented on how awesome I have been. I was taken aback. I did not realize how often I would loose my cool or just panic when faced with change.

I was able to see that he is now feeling what I felt. I suggested he also get help. He took my advice and I feel like I have helped 1 person to overcome this feeling. It is not a weakness. It takes courage to get help and deal with depression.

I hope my personal experience would help anyone who is feeling down, anxious or just can't see a future past today. Help is there. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.

Hugs and kisses🤗