bravo my life!

Lazy Thursday, i am typing behind my director. I feel so weird typing this in the company. I was in a depressed mood about the result of the test at home this time of last year....

I was studying for preparation of civil service examination until last year. I started studying in my age of 24, but ended up studying after 4 years. I once thought i was going to be a public official and this job is everything in my life. It was too much and overwhelming to build the specs required by the private companies, so I did not even think about it.
I was frustrated by the imagination of interviewing a private company and I knew that i would not pass the paperwork anyway. But, I soon realized that my thought was an idea that was too narrow than a frog in a well. There are companies that have employees who work and get paid everywhere. There are many people who are not civil servants but live happily in their jobs.

I gave up being a civil servant which means guaranteed until retirement and changed my mind. Even if I live a day, i decided to live this moment passionately. I admitted that I had to be uneasy as long as I gave up the stability of civil servants. That's is true. But I got happier because I'm doing what I want at work. There are many difficulties, but I decided to accept it too. I am late in age as a reality. It's fine, though. I have found something that suits my aptitude.
Direction rather than speed.

Even if you think you are late, if I find something that suits me, I think that is the reversal.
The days depression in the past was dark, and i thought the rest of my life will be in pain ... My heart is very full these days. I do not do great things, I do not have a great life, but I am very grateful for the days I am given.