I've Dug Myself a Hole, But I'm Going To Get Out of It - ASKING FOR THE STEEMIT COMMUNITY'S HELP

So, where should we start? I could start from the beginning, telling you my sorry story about how I got depressed and then anxious and then took a long time to recover to be the amazing me that I used to be, and how on the way, while losing myself, the whole world also seemed to crumble around me. Literally. (Well, maybe not literally literally, as it's not like the asphalt around me started to cave in as I walked on it. Not that literally.)

an unrelated picture is unrelated

What I mean by literally is that all the "practical" things around me seemed to just not go as they used to. And in my powerless state I felt like I had no power over these things crumbling down. And what I mean by practical things is mostly money. Yeah, money.

For the past months I've been living like a beggar, well, practically I've been one. And now I've found myself in a place where I haven't been able to pay a month's rent and I am missing 400 bucks from the tuition fee that I am supposed to be paying tomorrow. For the past weeks I've been mostly eating macaroni since it is the cheapest thing. I haven't been able to charge my phone calls so that I've been practically living without a phone as well.

But why am I telling you all this? Isn't Steemit supposed to be this motivational, beautiful, supportive, fun, social, no-bad-vibes sort of place? Everything goes as long as it's not depressive or complaining about things. It's okay to tell your from rags-to-riches story but only once you're well past the rags state and even better if you're quite well past the initial stage of getting the riches as well.

may this pigeon bring you all lots of fortune and wealth

So even though this has been my situation for a while, I haven't talked about it, since I don't want to draw attention to my current situation as it is not something I intend to be in a long time, and I also don't want it to be something that identifies me.

But you know what, not talking about it makes me feel even worse, as I believe in such a thing as authenticity and honesty. Even though mentally I've moved past my past hurdles, the circumstances around me still carry the aftereffects of the past choices I made. They are going to change, but not in a day. I am doing everything I can to live the best life of my dreams again, and I'm going to take you along the journey with me. This is a rags-to-riches story, but real time.

And quite honestly, I need your help. I have been hesitant to talk about this because I don't want to fish for anyone's pity or make anyone feel bad for me. I am not on Steemit to ask for upvotes for posts without any quality (or even ask for upvotes in general cause my dignity can't take it). My dream in life is to help people to live better, happy lives, and this is why I am so stoked to be on steemit - because it is such a great platform to create whatever content you feel like creating. On steemit, unlike most other social media platforms, you can upload videos, write articles, write poems or short stories or share your comics, photography, whatever it may be. And since the platform is still relatively young I feel like it is easier to get recognition and to build real communities, since it hasn't locked into one pattern too sturdily yet (though of course Steemit does have its own customs). And quite honestly, the possibility of getting paid does seem nice - not because I aim to get super filthy rich on here, but because you can't really live your passion if you are not able to pay your bills at the same time.

why does this thing rule the world

So that is why I am here. I am here to share whatever I feel is worth sharing, and to get to know people who I can connect to. So if you like my posts, please don't hesitate to leave me comments, or reach out to me if you feel like you want to talk about something - anything, I am a very open minded person.

And so about my bills... I am not exactly sure how I am going to pay them, but I am sure it will be okay. I will let you know how this all resolves. (And here I am resisting the urge to say "PLEASE IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME HOWEVER YOU CAN UPVOTE THIS POST AND TAKE IT TO THE TRENDING PAGE OH YES LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN BUT HEY YOU NEVER KNOW ANYWAY YES LOVE YOU ALL SEE YOU SOON AGAIN LIVE HAPPY BE HEALTHY OKAY BYE". Oh shit, I think I just said it.)

Oh well. I will see you soon. If you are interested in my other content, I upload daily dtube videos as well as write short daily music recommendations. I will also be publishing at least one daily article about a random topic that I feel like talking about. So, if you feel like you might like my content or relate to me in anyway, stay in tune and please leave a comment! I love you all!

❤️ Nelli