Many people harbour this shocking illusion that they are somehow in control, not only is this unwise from the perspective of wasting energy planning for things that may never happen, but also leads to a lot of emotional dis-appointment.
For example, the man or woman who longs after marriage, but cant find someone right for them. You cant force it, you have to respect the chaos; you can make a person marry you but you cant make a bad marriage last, at least not in happiness. So maybe you have to wait til you are 60 years old for that person to come into your life, its worth the wait, and you want to be available, surely.

We are all making it up as we go along, its one of the great levellers in life, some people get lucky and others flock to them desparate to know how they did it. The worse it is for these 'successful' people when they fail, as they became convinced they had the secret, yet they never did, just some luck.

The best we can do is recognise when the chaos gives us a chance to excercise our minute control, and to take that chance with 100% comittment, and hope the sand does not shift beneath our plans. Flexibility is the best technique we have, for staying alive until we die :)