My First Love Slightness..

in #life7 years ago (edited)

image

2011 Well, at that time I was just plain-innocent, I just entered high school that most people think that we will start a new story, a beautiful beginning, and carve stories that will begin to be lived with new friends , at that time I was 15 years of age that is still very young. Love? I think I'm still very small to know that word I'm still confused about the word Love. I'm still stuck in the description of the word Love.

With the passage of time I feel very short finally I know and know what is Love? A taste that I have never tasted before? Of course, the beauty I had never seen before, the habit I had never done before smiling to myself, staring at his face was the greatest happiness! well, after a man has been able to make me fall Love yah, he my first love he who can make me see beautiful pictures and he also who can teach me to paint the beautiful pictures. I am very happy.

We started our wonderful story with one grip of a goal and certainly in line! As if we had found the true Love of each of us because we complement each other. My days have changed I like princess made me feel I'm very lucky to have found a figure of a prince that I love and love and vice versa. Even so me and he almost rarely met can only send each other messages via via mobile phone heard his voice occasionally chatting it almost every day we live (LDR) well, the distance that makes us separate and rarely meet even though we enjoy each other the beauty of longing! Almost no problem almost no word bored everything beautiful we live.



"Mhimy" greeting familiar to me and vice versa I also called him with greeting, "Phipy" honestly, I'm very happy God has a man who is able to love and love me with sincerity there is no taste of the most beautiful of this taste before there is no sense of comfort of taste comfortable this before, I said softly in the heart.

At that time .. I'm on a semester exam I'm sure I'm glad because I went back to the village with it, I can meet the figure I missed well he Phipyku, a short story of some obscure news into my list I was shocked at once trying to muffle the situation which is enough to make my heart beat faster erratic sentence "he already have a new school gebetan" said my familiar friend who happened to be a school with Phipyku.

Somehow this heart felt it was very painful as if the sky was cloudy too feel what I feel right now, disappointed, angry, sad not left behind this tears of sorrow that can not afford for me dam, again I thought that I will start my life without existence Phipyku figure again and go away from him. But the heart says something else. I can not afford to stay away from him, still I can forgive! I'm telling you. Kring-kring 1 message entered in my mobile I open the message, "forgive Phipy ya mhy, Phipy promise will not repeat the mistake again phy just idly same girl is not more, Phipy really dear Mhimy." Trying to convince me again and finally I also believe.

Time is getting faster and we are getting more serious about this relationship that we will never waste. First love, I am very happy with the presence of him accompany my days like the sorrow of laughter, thank God I have found a piece of heart that I never expected before will be as beautiful and this happy. The year was changed, in 2013 I graduated from high school including the one I love Alhamdulillah, with a fairly long thinking I decided to continue my studies in Jakarta and Phipyku decided to work in Surabaya.

Early morning at 06 o'clock open my phone 11 missed calls and 5 messages I see, "mhy already ready? Phipy well yah yah to his bim because the distance of the city of bima with our village a little far away the message met in bima aja well "one of my messages smile sipu read her there is happy there is sad because on that day I went to jakarta rasaku jumble instantly I was afraid , is this the real separation? What keeps me shining is the phrase, "I can not see my Phipy anymore and it must be far from it, how will it be? My biggest fear is that he will change when I'm very far away from him, I thought negatively.

The rain is pouring down, the clouds are clouded like my heart is now where I last saw you, why? Where did you go? Why would the farewell that you designed long ago be sweet turned bitter, do not I know where your step is? I go phy I really go now convince in my heart that I really have to go my journey also accompanied by a wound tears that I never felt before .. strengthen me God.

Two years after the incident I tried to be strong without her presence again 2014-2015 almost no color as before and there is only one color that is black, empty and bland accompanying me in every step i enjoy my life. God even though my smile is not as beautiful as before was not as glad as it used to be and certainly not as sweet as it once was all happened let it happen and passed Love. No matter how hard this heart is, no matter what Phipy makes my heart beat only one that I want to say thank you Phipy has given me Love is so great and thank you also has given me a very great pain too. Where did Phipy go now? What I do not know about your whereabouts my question now what is wrong I have to endure so far and so far? Am I wrong to defend my first Love? The love I've been working hard for years! My poem is special for the sadness of my first Love.

Love…
Is this the love I used to be proud of? I often feel the beauty of Love
Hey, where did your old love go?
I fell so deep .. I have not got my strength yet again
I slammed so far .. As far as your eyes
Can not look at me anymore

Love…
Wake me from this nightmare .. I'm tired
Soon Love ... Accompany me in my solitude
Accompany me in my emptiness
Sense of loneliness away .. Silence go away
The wound that really changed my life became bitter
My first love sadness.