#4 Undemanding Time

Part of my path of understanding was to become a horse whisperer. A special tool I pick up from this profession was the Art of giving Undemanded Time.

So a few years into my training to whisper with horses my coach told me that no matter how good a "trainer" I was, I would never have a relationship with a horse, if I wouldn't learn how to BE undemanding and share that with my horses. Putting this "new concept" to use brought amazing results with the four legged ones. Naturally I had to bring this into the human experience.

So at a time when the kids were older, I found myself in the situation, that our daily exchanges where reduced to the "fight to get them out of bed, likewise to get them to bed, mixed in with have u brush ur teeth, eat ur veggies, how was school, don't watch to much TV" and so forth. What our relationship consisted of was the sum of about 3 1/2 minutes per day of me having some kind of demand on them! No wonder it felt so dissatisfying!

Undemanding time means just that. Time spend without demands! This is a one way road! It means putting ones attention fully on another person without any expectations, for even hoping something of this person is a demand!! So in order to do that I would hold one of my kids mentally in positive regard. Only if we hold someone in a state of at least acceptance do we not have a demand. Acceptance translates into being ok with what is, aka no demands. When u hold a person in such regards, u look for what's good, appreciative and beautiful about this person.

There were a few realized insights with this practice. First of all one can't "hoover" otherwise all this backfires and secondly the person doesn't need to be present. Let me explain, my earliest experience was that my son could sense when I was there physically but not mentally. This should hold true in the reverse as well. So he wouldn't have to be with me, in order for me to place my mind on him!!

Again another time where going to Alpha gave my the baseline to apply relationship building tools! So if the kids wouldn't be around for me to give them undemanding time, I would go to Alpha and spend this special time with them here.