Yes I remember that post where you first mentioned your stand with kids, I was going to ask you after that last ayahuasca trip if your opinion about kids had changed, I can't remember why I didn't. Well, glad its answered now, and I can see the opinion hasn't changed much.
I was interested in knowing how long it would last for, especially seeing that you're now married and all,..I'm glad I'm learning along now.
Fear of surrendering complete control of my life. Fear of the loss of freedom to do what I want when I want. Fear of the kids being unhealthy. Fear of being pushed over the edge of insanity at having committed to something I actually didn’t want that could potentially turn out as a hell. Fear of the absolute worst of rage, hatred, resentment, and evil in myself coming out. Fear of being entrapped in a situation I can’t walk away from without compromising integrity. Etc, etc.
Do you know I have such same fears concerning marriage now...
there's something to learn here...
Not much came up in the last round of ceremonies regarding kids. I suppose my “opinions” have shifted a bit over the last four years, with my heart cracking open more incrementally to the idea. Though the issue doesn’t seem so much one of “opinion,” as emotional charge.
At this point, I’m feeling pretty sure that I’ll need like a month in Peru diving deep into this, before being fully clear and confident to make a committed decision. Far too much charge at this point, which would end up highly explosive without doing the deepest soul work to clear out the roots of that resistance...