The brain's sweet DeathTrap: The Comfort zone as a Carnivorous flower

Important things need to be told in memorable ways... so take a look at this pic and let the drama unfold...

‘What a soft,bright colored, enticing flower..said the insect in its insectish language…. " it's so nice and cosy i could stay here a bit longer..." and these were its last insect words, as it became consumed by the object of its affection. The End.

It is not a compelling fairytale for children, but a good way to think about what we gravitate towards in our lives and how it can suck as all in and keep us imprisoned for the rest of our days.

Psychologists call it the Comfort Zone, but most of us could call it the day to day life.

We all have certain habits we display daily, certain people we talk to and certain ways of acting that we find comfortable. We like the predictability and certainty of “been here, done that” and that’s why we’re also essentially creatures of habit.

We’ve all noticed at a certain point of our lives and got appalled by it, that any adventuring into uncharted territories: trying new things, meeting new people, perfecting some unused skill, feel like a stone in a shoe, causing us discomfort throughout the whole experience.

Welcome to the Pain of Growth, the number 1 reason we are such a status-quo, inertia-driven animal.

Flying implies sustained effort and uncertain destinations, thus sitting on my favorite flower may seem like the ideal alternative.

That is until you realize what kind of flower you sit on.

Until you realize, sometimes very very late, that the Pain of Growth that you have been avoiding has a hidden twin, the Pain of Stagnation, that is just as real and devastating, but more like a Chinese drop than a sudden flood.

The Pain of Stagnation is like compound interest, very subtle and very easy to get used to with, and forget you’re actually experiencing it.

When you haven’t felt the distinctive discomfort of the Pain of Growth for quite some time its not because “life has settled” or “your troubled times have ended” ...
....it may just be that you are sitting on that cosy flower of yours about to be swallowed by it!

This is an extract from the book The Confidence gap by Russ Harris, that was just too cool and relevant not to share :

“The alternative is to choose the Pain of Stagnation; of living our lives inside the comfort zone. And that choice comes with huge costs.

Personally, I think we really shouldn’t call it ‘the Comfort Zone’, as that makes it sound like a like a chic café or a health and beauty spa, rather than a place that drains our lives away.

Here are some better names for it: ‘the Stuck zone’, ‘the Stagnant zone’, ‘the Zombie zone’, ‘the Life Half-Lived zone’, ‘the Missing out zone’, ‘the Restricted Life zone’, ‘the Lost Opportunity zone’, ‘the Wasted Time zone’, ‘the Same Old Shit zone’, ‘the Life on Hold zone’. …..(Or maybe just….. The Waiting Place.)

Much like the Pain of Growth, the Pain of Stagnation includes plenty of fear:

fear of failure,
fear of rejection,
fear of making mistakes,
fear of reprisal,
fear of embarrassment,
fear of missing out,
fear of wasting your life.

But there is no vitality, meaning or purpose; no sense of adventure; no personal growth.

So which sort of pain will you choose? “