The obsessive gnawing of futility. (Another serious post.)

It could just be my OCD, but I feel the need to check my Steemit every day, before I sleep, for notifications, and changes in the prices of my post, to see if I've earned anything. I seem to constantly think about a need to earn money, and all of the things I need (new strings for my stratocaster, a new acoustic, since mine has this horrific buzzing at its bridge, food..) How little money I have now, and how much I need to be comfortable again, and seeing how slowly things started moving on Steemit, how I haven't had any work for the past few weeks, and how my music barely generates anything, starts to stress me out, and makes me start desperately looking for ways I can make money, legally. Very little results ever seem to come to me, though... And knowing there's nothing I can do to improve my living situation instills this horrific feeling of futility, and either accompanying anger, or depression, and there's not a lot to do to get away from it, which just furthers the feeling. I just tend to listen to music and try to repress it, and that seems to work until I start realizing more and more how much I need to get a stable income so I can properly support the household, because things, as they are right now, we're not getting enough money in to properly support ourselves.

So, I turn to, what seems like, a good outlet: Talking to complete strangers about my mental and financial problems on a website...