Were we really at our best back then?

While almost everyone involved in it hated the American War in Viet Nam, it is not uncommon to hear, or say, "I loved it over there. That was when I was at my best."

Why do we sometimes think that we loved it? In the beginning, we at least thought we were doing something important. Even though we knew how fucked up the war was, we still had the blind hope that we were doing something that in some strange way would make the world better. Like all stupid sheeple, many of us believed that "our war" really was the war that would end all wars. The horror in Iraq and Afghanistan have shown us how naive that thought is.

But were we really at our best back then? Yes, I think so. And that may be the heart of our problem today. We at least found out what we were truly capable of. We survived under fire. When we came home, the challenges looked puny to us, and so we slacked off. We were unable to translate the edge we had in Viet Nam into an edge to carry us through everyday living. We were at our best, then we came home and found no challenge worthy of keeping us at our best. And no one understood. There was no one to talk to. Since then, we have been disappointed in what we have accomplished, no matter how great or how small. Never again did we do our best, because we learned the hard way that a fucked-up nation could care less about you, even when you are at your best. Warriors are simply human resources as far as most politicians are concerned.

While this may sound like I am bitter, the simple fact of the matter is that I'm not bitter at all. I'm just mad at myself for not figuring things out earlier in life than I have. But that's what this journey is all about, I guess.