Crab Mentality - One Dark Key Holding People Back

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Crab Mentality is known to be one of the most persistent negative trait of Filipinos but this trait being unique to the Filipinos alone is a great misconception. First of all, Crab mentality was named as such because of the way crabs, when placed in a kaing or a shallow basin, restricts the escape of others by clamping onto them and pulling them down. This behavior was said to be similar on how people pull down others who seems more successful than them, in relation to the saying “If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

Almost everyone must have had a feeling like this, which stems from jealousy, insecurity, and envy. Such behavior exists in various countries and cultures but with a different name.

It is a very insufferable behavior when in fact, the crabs can easily get out of the kaing. This behavior can also be found metaphorically in the Bible on the way Jacob, even during birth, was said to be holding Esau’s heel and so, was named Jacob which means “he takes by the heal” or “he cheats”.

It is a sad reality that we can all be so much successful if this mentality does not exist in people. No one would mentally manipulate the other by lowering self esteem and confidence; no back stabbing will take place; and genuine support will at last be observed! but no. That is just the way our current world works, hatred and jealousy mingled with all of the other good candies.

People dominated by this mentality is too proud of themselves and panic when their comrades are happy and improving. People who are full of positivism for themselves but are full of negativity for others and usually treat their comrades as competitors (Lahiri, 2016).

But we can’t just get derailed by this mentality now, can we? One general approach when one senses that he or she is being discouraged by a person with this mentality, is to ignore them. There’s just no eliminating people like that, they grow strong like weeds. Just deflect all the negativity and not-so-constructive criticisms. As my short bio says, credits to Sylvia Plath: “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt”. Just believe in yourself, you can do it!

Remember that there is a fine line between constructive criticism and a plot to pull you down. Just look into that person’s eyes and you’ll now whether this person is truly concerned about you or will roll their eyes and smirk after they pulled you down with them.

Some tips for dealing with people who are not happy for your accomplishments are provided by Charm Villalon in 12 Ways to Deal with People with Crab Mentality. It generally tells us to just be optimistic and keep doing what you're doing. To love what you do and accept failure as part of the process. In the blog by @coolarth, Just Be You, he advises readers to "Make yourself truthful and open. Don’t try to hide who you are. We're all fallible, growing, learning humans." Just forgive and move on with making yourself better.

Never let the attitude of those who don't want to see you successful pull you under. Believe in yourself and keep an open mind.

Let your light shine!

And Stay awesome!
-joules