My First Time on Tinder

I was never really a social person. Recently, I dowloaded Tinder because I was tired of masturbating all the time. This was back in November and a lot of shit has happened since then.

So yeah, you swipe right or click on a few hearts and you start talking to a girl. You get her to trust you exactly to the point where she’d meet a complete stranger off the internet, and hopefully will want to make out with you. So far this process has successfully happened three times and there’s a story to each one.

The first girl was Lilly. I met her at the only good gay bar in Toronto where I had also planned to meet two other of my Tinder victims. The other two weren’t anything serious though. This was the girl I ended up going home with that night and honestly, I did not see it coming. This was my first hookup.

Things ended with her because I got the sense that she knew that I really wasn’t attracted to her. She played it really cool and played me off really easily. Unfortunately for me, I did not take this too kindly and ultimately turned me into a hoe.

Right after that, I decided to search for my next victim. This was when I met MV. At first everything was more of a distraction to me. A distraction from school. Two or three weeks into us talking, she ends up breaking up with her two year long girlfriend and she’s taking things seriously with me… Ew. Again, I did not see this coming. Nor did i see the fact that she was going to be a ten stage clinger.

Right now we’re still talking, and I mean its cool and all but she gets way too clingy and apparently loves to play these games. Games as in stupid, manipulative relationship games which I want no stake in. I guess you can say that I started these games, but in fact I really wasn’t. I’m just trying to live my single, best life as a hoe. Not my fault she got attached too quick.

When I’m talking to someone, I like being open and hoist with people. I have nothing to hide, nor should I. But I get the sense that she thinks that I’m playing with her, but honestly I’m not.

This is because of my third Tinder vicim Jill. Within our last two dates, I ended up puking out my Pho, destroying an Airbnb, had a meeting with Toronto Constable Stephen, getting hit by a pick up truck, and walking away with four police tickets. I guess you can say that things have been getting pretty serious

Moral of the story, don’t download Tinder.