Mind Cancer, Baader-Meinhof & Chris Cornell. [5 min read] Depression, Stigma and Sharing our Stories

When a thought doesn’t leave you alone.

If you’ve never heard of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon before you’re probably about to see it everywhere you look.

“That’s so weird, I learnt that just last week and now it keeps popping up everywhere!”

Yup.

That’s the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.

It’s the term to describe those instances where you notice something, and then all of a sudden it feels like the universe keeps dropping that same thing in front of you over and over again.

You learn a new word and suddenly it pops up in three tv shows.

You buy a blue car and suddenly feel like everyone else went out and bought blue cars last week as well.

I swear the world instantly had five times more babies and pregnant women once I was trying to get pregnant.

It’s an illusion. Our brains suddenly tuning in and noticing something we’d usually just ignore.

Sometimes, however, I’m not so sure.

In the era of social media, viral memes and trending hashtags I’m not sure when I’m noticing the same thing pop up over and over again because my brain is playing tricks on me or because it’s a topic that’s really resonating in society at the moment.

I think sometimes it’s a large dose of both.

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Over the past few months I can’t seem to turn a corner without bumping into the topic of mental health or mood disorders. That’s a medical sounding mouthful but I guess it sounds better than saying “when our brains think shitty".

This week Chris Cornell hung himself.

The most popular Netflix show right now is about a teenage girl’s suicide.

The most popular podcast of the year has a surprise plot twist involving, you guessed it, suicide.

I finally get around to watching a show that’s been out for a while, presumably about a marriage relationship based on the title, and we find a lead character who is quite depressed and hurting herself to cope.

I sit at my desk one morning while a friend next to me scrolls through a Facebook timeline. Snapshots of family, vacations, laughter and children roll by. “Can you believe she killed herself yesterday?”.

I literally just watched a stand up comedian devote a whole segment of his set to his struggle with clinical depression and the various treatments he’s tried to treat it.

I could go on …

I haven’t gone looking for these stories, yet they’ve found me, repeatedly.

Sometimes it feels like the universe is telling you something. But it’s not right? Or is it?

(This is probably a good place for a PSA. I might be many things, but I’m not suicidal. Honest. No boxes of cassettes lurking anywhere. )

I’m not imagining this though right?

The most popular series both on Netflix and podcasts?

It’s heavy “entertainment”.

Yet here it is.

And I know this sounds strange. But it’s kind of refreshing.

When you struggle with depression or mood disorders of any kind it can take up so so much of your mental space. And yet usually we are all so silent about it. Until a celebrity or a friend of friend ends their life and then we say, “can you believe it?”.

There’s stigma. Shame. Secrecy.

Someone I went to school with has diabetes and I’ve seen her face on magazine covers championing the cause.

Meanwhile, I created an ‘anonymous’ blog that I limit who I share with, so my name is not really publicly attached to my thoughts.

Because it’s different right?

Diabetes is real, tangible, measurable.

Our thoughts? Our moods? Are not.

And yet diabetes didn’t kill Chris Cornell.

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In my layman’s understanding, cancer is essentially a group of cells that go haywire and multiply, taking over your healthy body.

Depression is a sort of “mind cancer” isn’t it?

Thoughts and feelings that in small doses might be totally normal multiply and take over everything else.

Our minds rewire themselves to feed these thoughts. One negative thought leading to another and another. Darkness growing and consuming everything healthy.

A good diet and exercise can help.

As with regular cancer, healthy living is a good precaution and can help treatments but sometimes it still just shows up.

Unexpected and uninvited.

Scientist believe genetics play a part but aren’t always sure exactly how or why.

Treatments are often imperfect with mixed results and come with long lists of side effects.

There are often remissions.

Happily, sometimes, lifelong remissions.

But there are usually relapses. Some not realized until it’s too late.

Cancer can be insidious like that.

But people also beat cancer all the time, right?

They fight, they get help, they change their lives if they need to.

They fund research into new treatments, they build awareness.

They tell their stories.

On tv shows and podcasts and ‘anonymous’ blogs written at night to sort through scattered thoughts.

Generations ago cartoon shows were punctuated by commercials for cigarettes. But with time, we’ve realized where a pack a day habit will probably lead you.

We’re more aware.

When I turn a corner and bump into “mind cancer” I’m not really surprised anymore.

Maybe we’re becoming more aware where the silence and shame will lead us.

Or maybe it’s just a coincidence.

Either way.