Don't Give Up
We have heard these words many times in our life. It has been said in many forms and many ways. Spoken to us through a thousand stories, fiction, biographies, and even from our mother's mouth. Humanity's tales, for centuries past, all say this same thing in their own way: Don't give up.
I guess this article is one of my answers to the questions posed in the words below. My answer this time around has been to 'Don't give up because my kids are watching.' I see more and more, as they get older, that they are facing all of the same questions of life I have and still do—in their own way.
Don't Give Up
If you indulge in various books on the subject of screenwriting or fiction writing; the mystery of 'story' will eventually open up to you in its simple naked form; which depending on the theme, is usually a question: does the protagonist give up? Sometimes they do. It's more clearly asking within the context of the story: why was it important that she not give up?
I watched one such story last night, a Stephen King adaption called the Mist. Spoiler alert (are your eyes closed?): The protagonist gives up in the end. Even in this rare take on the horror/action genre, the simple question remains as the central theme.. this time as a warning: Don't give up... or else.
'Don't give up' is deeply entwined in our hearts, minds, and culture, if not our very DNA.
But what are we not giving up?
Strangely enough, we can carry both a strong conviction to not give up, yet simultaneously, not know or have a firm grasp on what we so passionately are fighting not to give up on.
At various times in our life-journey; the foundation on which our passions lay may seem fleshed out and firm. Meaning, we have something very literal 'object of desire' to hang our hat on, so to say. Such as a certain career we have as a goal. Or, to be a great musician, to be famous, lose 20 pounds, save a marriage or quit some disastrous habit... to find love ... and the list goes on.
But, as time passes, the image of our object of desire may blur. Maybe we accomplish some major step in our aim (i.e. save the marriage), or maybe even achieve our aim. In either of these circumstances, our aim may begin to blur after that.
We find that there is a price for this object of desire and the questions began of whether the object is worth the price. Or maybe we may sense that what we were looking for was never there—maybe we were mistaken (i.e. The marriage is saved, but life is not much better).
Maybe we want this instead—or that! Maybe we were driven by cultural/familial forces to seek something that really was never 'us' to begin with. Money, fame or security.
An Argument From Desire
Something we don't hear about very often is the stories of those who made an aim, didn't give up, accomplished their aim but then found that the 'thing' they sought was not there. These stories are mostly couched in spiritual tales.
On the flip side, we encounter difficulties beyond our ability to counteract them with our own willpower or courage. Faced with this side of the coin, eventually, we may question our own ability, our own sanity even (who the hell do I think I am anyway!). To leave the journey at this intersection can leave us feeling defeated for a lifetime. Always wondering if we could have 'made it' if we would have kept going.
Another blurring effect is just getting lost in the woods. We head out on the path sure of our aims. We put our head down and go! Then, as if we were sucked through some time machine; we look up years later and ask ourselves: where am I? How did I get so far off of the path? What was that path anyway?
Your on your way when...
More often than not; all of these directions are recurring themes in our life. They are in fact nothing less than the common road signs on the way to your own North Star.
If you stay on your path long enough, you will see these different aspects of the accomplishment journey come and go. Sometimes you will see them cycle round and round like your stuck on a boat with a broken rutter.
These troubles along the way are not by accident. Neither are the ubiquitous and universal themes in all of our human stories.
We travel well-worn roads of distress, success, and suffering; paths trod by billions of souls. Some souls lay in the ditches with sad warnings on their lips—those who did not make it. But, echoes of encouragement ring from up ahead— from those who did make it. The echoes and warnings are sometimes so faint that we can barely distinguish them from the wind; other times they scream so loudly that they can not be ignored. When you hear them the first times, you hear that both the fallen and the victor sing 'Don't give up'. But when you pass their way again...(way on down the line) it is evident that you misheard them.
They are not making a command, they are simply asking you a question. The same question they were asked, and either answered or did not answer.
We find It was only the trick of our mind in whatever conditions we were intangled in that made us think to hear them in such a vigorous voice screaming 'Don't give up young traveler!".
When really, they spoke quietly and always had. Not commanding, but asking us to answer the only question we must all answer. It is a simple one but may take a lifetime to answer. That question is: What in all of your life is worth not giving up on (or for)?
An Active Answer
This is the question we must answer—even if it takes a lifetime (and it will). For we WILL 'give up' for as long as what we aim for is something less than the one thing worth not giving up for.
Now, what that one thing is, I believe, can be different for us all and is differently answered throughout life. It most likely will be found via those more literal aims I mentioned above, but they should not be confused as the object itself. They are only a finger pointing the way of our own individual quest.
And do not fool yourself that it is a simple answer that you can look it up in a book, hear it in a sermon, or touch it in a psychedelic meditation; then gladly put it to bed and go along your happy way.
Though the question is simple—it is not a simple answer. In fact, it is a rare thing indeed that some even attempted to answer those echoes and warnings stirring in the heart.
If we have any hope of not giving up; we must first realize that it is not a statement, it is a question. What in all of your life is worth not giving up on?
Many of the lesser 'gods' fall away when this question is asked truly and with our mortality in clear focus.
Some may say at this point, "hey there, why make such a huge drama about this question. I can answer it right now! It's the simple things of life, the things we take for granted, children, relationships, love, caring for one another." And right you are... this is part of the answer for sure. But in its mere generality, it is not the answer. That is why even when those who can boast of great success in these simple things of life, (if they admit it) still find themselves often bewildered, aimless, lacking some mysterious 'something' and wanting more.
C.S. Lewis imagined this unmet need in humanity as a desire for heaven. There is an argument for the existence of God based on this one unmet desire called the argument from desire and while that subject is well beyond this little chapter's scope; The idea of such an argument though, goes far to show that it is well known that all of our needs can be met, even abundantly so, even spiritually and altruistically so, yet still, we will hunger with the one desire that has no counter here in this plane.
The questions difficulty is not that it can not be answered along the journey. It will be by most of us, many times over. Its difficulty is that it will be asked again, and we will find our self once again unable to clearly answer it.
Its difficulty is that it must be answered over and over with the stakes growing higher and higher—ever asking us to simplify its formulation, to get closer to its individual essence inside our individual hearts.
It is an answer that can not be said with words; so cannot be told to you from another. It must be acted out over a lifetime.
Much like the character in a novel; we don't have much of a choice, our story will play out, it will have a middle, a plot, a subplot and it will end. In a definite moment, the end credits will roll.
Plot your plot
... now, if you're a human and my writing is not completely appalling to your senses; that last line about 'the end' caused some emotional event in you.
Discussions about the end do that to us all. They are supposed to. But think of it, in this context, as an anxiety (anger.. or whatever emotional spike it caused) or emotional reaction to a really tough question posed to you; a question that you feel you must answer. For that is what it is.
Death is a question posed to you alone. Posed to your life. That is why no one can answer this question for you. Your question is not asked of their life. It is asked of your life. That emotional event is the sound of those echoes of voices I talked about asking: What in all of YOUR life is worth not giving up on?
Did an answer spring up in your heart? That is probably the right answer. That's the tricky part... we really know the answer. We are sometimes just afraid to admit it. Don't worry; it will be asked many times more; maybe it will be the same answer you give. Maybe a deeper clarity in the answer; maybe a different answer altogether. Don't worry about that.
All you have to do is answer and say, this is worth not giving up.
Howdy, I'm @ezravan, an artist and musician living in Texas. I guess this article is one of my answers to the questions posed in the words below. My answer this time around has been to 'Don't give up because my kids are watching.' I see more and more, as they get older, that they are facing all of the same questions of life I have and still do—in their own way. And furthermore, I'm realizing more brutally that they will face them throughout life. I thought to write down my thoughts over a few Steems and maybe print them out for them someday so that they can have their Dad with them even when my end credits roll; to say in my own words: Don't give up.
The argument from desire of C.S. Lewis reminds me of the Platonic conception of the soul. Plato said that the human sought in the physical world ideal objects, things that don't physically exist, things such as justice, good, beauty, etc., but could not find them and only found their reflection, that is, just things or beautiful things, but never justice or beauty, and so on. But finally, and if detached by the virtue of material things, and stopped pursuing reflections, at death they would find the satisfaction of such desires.
On the other hand, you are right in saying that no one but yourself can find such an answer, and that is because, even if the most wise words come from the mouth of another person, we are the ones who ultimately interpret them, and only when we are really willing to know such an answer, we will realize that it has always been there and everywhere, because that thing in which we can't give up, necessarily we have always had it with us, at least that's what I believe, I may be wrong.
Excellent post. Regards!
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment. Yes, your right on the same line of thinking. I wouldn't be surprised if the roots for the argument from desire come directly from the Platonic conception of the soul. Your thoughts are just a level above what I was going after... Which was simply, that in order to 'not give up' in life, there better be something real you're aiming for :) or else..there just won't be enough to sustain you through this difficult life.
These objects of desire are shadows of their deeper counterparts, a necessary direction and not an end.. as you pointed out. That's why it becomes a lifelong conversation inside of us because it is actually the something behind the 'something' we think we want, that we truly long for. But still, we necessarily start with the first 'Something' before we realize it is only a shadow.
I'm proof that many things can be studied and understood, but not at all 'known', or in effect. Only through clawing through my own cacoon are the truths I sought made real... and in such a way that they are unique to my life, as if they could be found nowhere else in the world. And it is those things, those immaterial objects of desire, which I can hardly even describe, that are my north star. Yet I still, from time to time, find myself searching in these 'physical world objects'... and scratching my head asking.. why won't they fix me! . haha.
We go through the same process. >>
!
We couldn't agree more.