Been quiet for a minute but I've decided to come home..
Those of you fellow steemians who follow me may have noticed that I've been pretty ghost for the last month and a bit. It's not because I got over Steemit. Or that I wasn't "earning enough rewards". It's not because I had "lost faith" in the Block-chain either. The reason is recently I have felt myself slipping back into my "old ways". I've been drinking incredibly heavily, smoking like a fucking chimney and pretty much lost all faith in humanity again. I've been struggling with money issues for the past couple of years now and I've felt my sanity start to slip. Now, I fucking hate money. Unfortunately though, money is the cunt that tells all what to do and we have no choice but to follow his orders, for now at least.
Everyday I wake up, drink a few coffees, smoke multiple cigarettes, stumble around the house lost in my own thoughts and then eventually drink beer until I can't think anymore. Basically I drown myself out. I know it's a shitty mindset to be in and I am trying to change old habits. One day at a time right? Until then, here's to being insecure! Raises beer.
I've since found work that seems highly reliable, though I don't start until early next year. So maybe that could push me back onto the right path and finally give me a decent opportunity to get some money behind me and make me start making some good choices in life.
Anyway enough of the depressing dribble. The fact aside, I'm using this to let you know that I'm still here and yes I will try start making more of an appearance on here again.
On a lighter note here's some music that I've done over the years. Hopefully it lightens the mood for the people who bothered to read this.
As always, signing off @ethanjames
Oh I feel you! I've been in a very similar place myself. Nothing wrong with venting!
When I had a similar 'where I have been lately' post about a week ago a fellow steemian put this great little video as a comment...I couldn't help but smile and tear up a little. I hope you find it helpful too
Way to step in and encourage!
I support that!
Oh wow, ty! This was totally unexpected. :) i went and read your project, still not expecting the sd.
Perfect case in point to help maintain hope for humanity! Optimists of the world unite! Lol
Glad you liked it!
It's very kind of you to recommend this to me. Thank you.
It's very much a 'pay it forward' scenario for me. I really needed something like that a week or so ago :)
Keep smiling! :)
Sorry to hear about your old ways creeping back.
I gave up all the drugs and alcohol about 8 years back, and it has been awesome not being dependent upon all of that just to make it through the day.
If there is anything that I can do to help restore your faith in humanity, please let me know.
For real, Papa cares!
I never thought you were a rock star a long time ago, Sir.
I'm the shirtless one in both pics... been in a few bands back in the day, mostly heavy metal.
I was the beast growling in the center.
That's so cool...except for the drugs and alcohol part.
You shouldn't have to be sorry my brother. Just a part of life that everyone goes through at some point I'm sure. Seeing your posts does. You really are doing something right! Haha.
Cheers for the comment cousin and keep the realness coming.
Well, by saying "Sorry to hear that" I mean that it doesn't bring me joy or happiness to hear about that...
Did you see my last post? Maybe you should try peppers.
I can mail you some!
I get what you mean haha. I did indeed. I honestly don't mind me some spicy foods. So perhaps I should try your peppers! I'll hit you up on chat.
smiley face emoji
I feel where you are coming from, although I don't have any magic wand (would be nice wouldn't it?). Some great comments here though. Sometimes life is a rollercoaster.
I've been trying to learn to go with the flow, and not get too irate when things don't go as I wanted them too. Not that I don't keep trying, but just trying to stay more zen about it. How ironic - a zen rollercoaster.
Good to read your post, and listen to the track.
I agree with that my friend. Life is nothing but one big puzzle that we are trying to put together, where the pieces aren't always the correct ones. I appreciate the support that I get from people that I've never even met before. In all honesty though, it really does restore some of my faith in humanity. Thank you!
Good luck man!. It is tough.
Thank you. The struggle has always been real. Salute!