I am sorry that you feel that way. It is a bitter and sweet type of thing, the relationship between mother and child. Maybe you can take the experiences you had and look at the lessons that you did learn out of it all. I didn't have the best relationship with my mother but I am thankful for what I did go through with her. It taught me a lot about how to carry myself as a woman and how to be selfless rather than being selfish towards my own children. Growing up, I had a sense of hate but I have finally gotten to the point of forgiveness and understanding of the the lessons of life and how they will come to you.