Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Movie Review/Analysis/Rant
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal skull is the fourth installment of the successful Indiana Jones film series. I can’t remember feeling more disappointment in a movie with so much hype since, well the Matrix: Reloaded. After the farce that was the Star Wars prequels George Lucas not content on damaging one beloved movie franchise set his sights firmly on another.
The movie that no one wanted to make
It was no big secret that Spielberg was finished with the franchise after the Last Crusade. Indiana Jones riding off into the sunset, crusade seemed to be the perfect bookend for the franchise. Looking to milk the teat of another one of his cash cows, Lucas set out to make a sequel that everyone wanted but no one wanted to make. After much persuading (a suitcase full of money) Lucas managed to convince Spielberg and Ford to get on-board (plane pun intended) for a fourth film. It had everything going for it, Steven Spielberg is a good competent director, and has made some of the most iconic movies of the past thirty years. And it had a screen play that was written by someone that wasn’t George Lucas. So what went wrong?
George Lucas
George Lucas had a lot to do in writing the initial story, and in the past Spielberg would have confronted Lucas if he didn’t like his ideas. For example, originally the third film was going to be set in a haunted castle. Spielberg hot on the heels of making Poltergeist said that he didn’t want to make another horror movie so soon. For whatever reason Spielberg was past the point of caring and didn’t put a stop to Lucas’ bad ideas. Initially the film was going to be called, Indiana Jones and Saucer Men from Mars, the story deemed to be too similar to Independence Day that was performing well at the box office, so that idea was shelved. The story for Saucer Men from Mars be found here, be warned though, it is utterly turd, it features pirates, aliens and flying saucers (from Mars I presume). However various aspects of this screenplay made its way into Kingdom of the Crystal Skull such as, Roswell aliens and Indy getting married. Why does Lucas have any say? He only created, produced and wrote all the movies in the franchise.
Pointless Characters
A lot of the characters in this movie are pointless, other than cutting to awkward cutaways to show that they are still in the movie they are only there to provide expository dialogue. After they meet the Russians in the jungle the characters of Mutt, Marion and Ox become completely irrelevant and pointless. They later fall into the “give them something to category”. In The Last Crusade, Indiana had his father and Marcus Brody tag along with him. The difference here is that Indy carried his father and Marcus for the final third of the movie. That made Indiana feel more of a hero. In the Crystal Skull the characters are giving something pointless to do, such as the Mutt fencing scene and swinging with the monkeys Ala Tarzan. These moments add nothing to the story or enriches the movie in anyway.
McGuffin
If you didn’t already know the McGuffin of the Crystal Skull is aliens. Whilst working on the fourth Indiana Jones movie, Lucas wanted to do something that pays homage to a 1950s B-movie. In truth then the movie should have been set in a control room with men in white coats working away to find a solution to a threat to humanity. Usually this threat would reveal itself to be an alien, robot, or an alien robot. Lucas couldn’t make up his mind on which aliens to use in his movie so he used Roswell aliens, and the Mayan crystal skull aliens and shoehorned them together. He uses the popular Roswell aliens as everyone has heard of them. and the Mayan crystal skull aliens that no-one (other than Dan Ackroyd) has heard of. It wasn’t a popular choice and didn’t play out well. Blending the 1950s B-movie idea with the 1930s serial style caper was an odd mix and a one that didn’t work.
Things I didn't like
Below is a list with a detailed analysis of things that stand out in this movie that did not work or make sense.
- CGI gopher during the opening - Stupid
- Indiana Jones using a refrigerator as a means to survive a nuclear blast - Stupid
- Fight with a blow dart wielding gang that has no bearing on the movie at all, other than to inject some action (why does that guy die when Indy blows dart up the pipe the wrong way? Did he have poison on both ends of the dart?) - Stupid
- Fencing duel in the jungle – Stupid
- Tree eating machines - Stupid
- Shia Le Beef swinging from trees with monkeys like something out of Tarzan - Stupid
- Car/Boat driving/sailing of the top of waterfall - Stupid
- Indiana trusting Mack when he has shown countless times that he can't be trusted, making Indiana look stupid - Stupid
- Natives covered in body paint that are playing hide and seek in the ruin/ spacecraft that just get shot to bits by the Russians, what was the point in that – Stupid
Things that I did like
- I like the shot of Indiana Jones silhouette standing in front of the mushroom cloud, this is a visual indication that Indiana Jones has now entered the nuclear age.
- The diner scene between Mutt and Indiana is quintessential Spielberg and works really well. The interactions of the two characters conversing which each is well done, Mutt takes a beer bottle from the waitress and then Indy puts it back without the waitress noticing.
- The bike chase through the university campus is really good action sequence is well put together, it’s just a shame that there aren’t more moments like this in the movie.
- And that's it.
In the end everybody lost with this movie, except Karen Allen. She got to feature in a big budget movie, a change of pace to her current job working as a checkout assistant. The movie undone a great ending to the franchise and has in some way damaged the Indiana Jones franchise. With Indiana Jones V in the pipeline we can only imagine what monstrosity Lucas is cooking up. I’m holding very little hope that it won’t be anything but utter turd. RIP Indiana.
Shameless link to my next review "Batman v Superman: Yawn of Justice".
Good review and I agree with you on the gopher scene!
Actually I liked a lot of the movie apart from the over the top ending with the whole aliens .
Indiana Jones's son was not a likeable character and that made me frustrated. Initially I thought that he'd take over the franchise but it wasn't going to happen!
Yeah, I really didn't get the build up with the tribal warriors hiding in the shadows. I was expecting some sort of confrontation with Indy having to fight his way out. But for some inexplicable reason they just get shot to shreds by the Russians, it's as though Lucas had an idea and then changed his mind. And I'm not entirely sure why Mac allows himself to get sucked into the vortex. Some mind bogling decisions in the final act of this movie.
It looked as though they were gonna pass the mantle to Mutt, again it looks as though they changed there mind, probably due to the overall negative reaction to the character and movie overall. I wouldn't be surprised if there is little to no Mutt in the next movie.
IJKCC is an awesome movie, much better than Temple of Doom. I don't know why everyone is so down on it.
All the sorts of holes and inconsistencies it suffers from are not much different from those of the eighties instalments. None of the Indy scripts are watertight. They are just clever scaffolds on which to hang action and character.
If you can watch the film without the baggage of expectations from decades of familiarity with the original material -- well, why should you? It plays really well into the established Indiana Jones mythos. I just love all the stuff about him getting old, especially when having only just been reunited with Marion he gets into an argument with her and turns aside saying, "same ol', same ol'." Brilliant! And on learning Mutt is his son, saying angrily, "Why didn't you make him finish school?"
I love this movie and will defend it to the end! (And the same goes for the Star Wars prequels!)
So there!
I know you must be trolling me when you say you love the prequels. I have started a review of the Phantom Menace if your interested
I like your enthusiasm in your review. I also thought Crystal Skull was a good movie. I don't think it's as good as Temple of Doom though. Temple of Doom was my personal favorite. Your review gives me hope that I can write movie reviews too, but so far nobody really upvotes my reviews, not sure why. It looks like your doing okay though. Good review!!
Its a dark art steemit. This is my first and probably only post to actually get any interest. I suppose you just have to keep at it and hopefully catch a whales attention and they like what your doing. Good luck, following you now.
big ants were fine..
That was actually one of the better scenes in the movie.
is so sad when you feel that someone as George Lucas seems to have forgotten the love we have to his characters and franchises just for the money... like he wouldn't have enough already...
The problem with Lucas is that he is a businessman first and foremost, and then a film maker. You see this with all the re-releases and re-re-releases of his intellectual properties. Whilst making The Phantom Menace, Titanic was performing well at the box office, he seemed more concerned about the Phantom Menace not being able to out perform Titanic at the box office than making the best possible movie that he could have.
I think such a bad script not even Spielberg could save this movie... and also i remember that he said that the prequels were better and the original triology because they were more faithful to his vision... and that last statement may be true, ´cause the original triology was a great team effort but in the prequels he directed as he was Papaltine himself Emperor of the F... Galaxy
The prequels are so bad. Im working through the Phantom Menace at the moment. I forget how bad it was. Nah just kidding I could never forget the prequels, they have scarred me for life. Check out my Phantom Menace review when you get a chance
Honestly, George Lucas wanted to retire with a lot more money , so he created this movie. Is it the bottom of the list. Yes. Lower in my opinion than Temple of Doom.
But Nostalgia is always better than the real thing
Also , few Indiana Jones scene has ever topped this
also did not like Mutt. I has hoped Indiana Jones would just teach a cute British girl the fine art of archaeology
or this would be interesting
LOL
Great Review! I generally like Indiana Jones, but this movie was at the bottom of the list.
Absolutely hated Mutt character, just plain stupid, usually don't like characters by Shia LaBeouf anyways, he's never credible, just a bad actor. Then, they throw in a ridiculous "Fencing Scene", seriously, totally stupid, worst scene in the movie.
Next stupidest scene for me was the 3 waterfall drops. Did we really have to go through all three? Didn't they edit/preview and realize that this was too monotonous and just plain silly.
There was this exchange:
Indy: "Where'd they go? Space"
Ox: "Not Space. To the space, between the spaces"
What The (Entire) F. . . was that?
I liked the scene in the warehouse, looking for the box, following the magnetic field with shotgun BB's. It was amusing.
I quite like the opening act, especially when Indy swings with his whip and totally miss judges his swing and ends up arse first through the windscreen of a truck.
Great review, Following!
The only thing worse than George Lucas rebooting his movies is Disney rebooting his movies.
It's hard to understand how longtime patrons of these franchises continue to throw good money after the slaughtered reboots and merchandise. I grew up on them, but I will just wait till they come on TV to watch them until they can manage to bring back some of the magic.
I guess Rogue One was close, It might be worth keeping on the shelf.
I thought the Force Awakens was a solid enough movie although it played it pretty safe however I didn't like Rogue One. I will probably do a review/rant on Rogue One. I remember feeling disappointed coming out of the cinema after watching it.
Oh yeah totally not worth going to watch R1 in a theater!
I guess my main problem with TFA would be that they completely threw out decades of the richly developed expanded universe in favor of a politically correct reboot designed to sell 8 year olds more toys. Rey telling Han how to fly and fix the Falcon and then snubbing his job offer was just too much for me. I'm surprised she didn't immediately start showing Luke the finer points of lightsaber fencing she just magically learned while fighting the guy that wiped out Luke's restored Jedi order.
At any rate, I definitely will keep an eye out for your future movie reviews!
I thought the same way, it deffinately lacked something, have you watched the clone wars or rebels? Any ways im new to steem it, please follow me im a bit if a movie buff myself. And ill be posting about movies myself @bethwendy
Welcome to Steemit. I have heard some good things about rebels so I will have to check it out. Working through the Phantom Menace at thr moment. I will keep an eye out for your posts. Following you now.
Easily the worst movie of the Indiana Jones franchise. Also, easily one of the worst movies ever made. Thanks for the review. Congrats on getting curated by the best!
I don't think this movie was as bad as many make it out to be.