Thank you for taking the time to write such a well thought out reply. I really appreciate it. I wasn't offended by anything you said, so don't worry.

As far as the part where I said it was a curse, when I wrote this I wanted to show some progression from at the beginning of my writing that it is a curse and then at the end of it, it is a badge of perseverance. If that makes sense. It's kind of hard for me to explain. In a way, it is a curse because it never really goes away because there will always be some things that trigger feelings and memories, whether it be a time of the year, smells, sounds, people, or just being alone and forced to think on things.

I used to be a religious person, but after many of the things I have, I have come to my own conclusions that there is no one omniscient being pulling the strings choosing who lives and who dies, who suffers needlessly and who gets a free ride in life. One of the misconceptions of religious people is that they believe that people who think like me believe that life has little or no value. It is actually quite the opposite. While I don't believe that there is one being, a "God", that most religions refer to, I do believe that there are forces or energies that are more powerful than we are and that they can be the governing force for this world, I just don't think anyone really has a true understanding of what it is. Most religions try and teach people to be good people, but you don't need to be religious to appreciate life and love other people. What I have come to conclude is that if I live my life trying to help others and find the beauty around me, I have become a much happier person. I don't think anyone truly knows if there is an afterlife, so I am going to do my best and trying to live this life to its fullest and seeing as much of the world and meeting as many of its inhabitants as I can, and during my travels I will make documentaries of the people who's stories normally don't get told because I believe everyone has a story to tell.

Sorry if this seems sort of like rambling, I guess you could say it was my first attempt at a 5 minute free write, even though it has taken more than 5 minutes to write. I hope you didn't take it as an attack on religion either. I do respect people that follow religions that they want to, I have just found my peace elsewhere.