Dear Steemy,
I recently left the faith. This really isn't done often, but it happens. Because it's so rare, you don't really hear about what life is like after you separate from the faith. When you stop being a Jehova's Witness you don't just lose your religion, you lose the whole community. Any friends you made can't really be your friend anymore. It's understandable because my leaving is a statement that goes against their very dear beliefs. So they pray for you, and discuss you at study, and strategize on how to save you because they love you, but they won't stay in your life anymore. They just can't. I am fortunate to still have my parents but they also are unhappy with my decision, and my choice has affected their life in the faith. I sometimes think about going back there because there is community and love, and I grew up in that. I miss that. I left the faith because I'm gay, but I'm starting to think I can suppress that and just choose to believe. It has to be better than the absolute loneliness I feel now.

Story of One

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Dear Story,

In life, we are presented with a series of opportunities, obstacles, and choices. The faith required for membership in any religion is the same faith required to sustain our own hope, and that faith is every color of the spectrum. You are more brave than you can even imagine, and while you may not have the same access to that group, living in your truth can lead you to find a new group of people who love you as you are. You have had the strength so far to go out and examine the world on your own terms, and now is the time to let that strength shine.

Change is Hard

Story, the only constant in the life of any insect, mammal, planet, solar system, and galaxy is the same. Change. From the moment we first divide, as a cell, we continue our metamorphosis until here we stand. But even then, when we're a whole and functioning human being, we are still changing on the inside. Our relationship to the universe is so varied, it is inevitable that we will learn new information or have a chance encounter that has the potential to alter our thinking and even our very life. You are not an exception to this universal truth, Story. You are changing and changing still. Take comfort that we are all here with you, changing as well and trying to come to grips with the ever changing idea of "who am I?"

Give a Penny, Take a Penny

Every good, human interaction in life is like the "Give a Penny, Take a Penny" tray in that we sometimes need a little support and sometimes we need to give a little support. Try to consider what it was that made you feel so close to that community. Sure, you had the same religion, but there are much deeper dynamics that dictate interpersonal relationships. Why did you feel a camaraderie there? In any group of people, there is a give and take that occurs. When it is positive, we call it sharing and growth. When it is negative, we call it "using" and destructive. Which dynamic was your group in? When you needed a penny, were they only taking?

The Provocative Son

Consider your blessing that you still have parents at all and then you can begin to unpack, and properly place, the feelings that you may have about them. We are all of us ultimately only human, and if they truly believe in the faith, practices, and religion then it will be hard to convince them of anything else. If you truly believe that the outside world is more than one religion or idea, and that you must go explore it, they will never be able to shake that intuition in you. This doesn't mean that you cannot find each other in the middle, where the truth usually lay. Yes, the dynamic of their religious life has changed, and pretty dramatically from their perspective. Yes, they must now answer hard questions by the congregation. Their circumstances have changed, as have yours, as ours constantly do, always. You are not responsible for the experience of change in others, only yourself. Undergoing such a shift, you should have sympathy and empathy for what great change feels like on the ground.

But What Now?

It can feel like you're stuck, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now, we change more. Just because you've detached from a religion does not mean you've lost interest in activities that bring you comfort. This is your time to explore your talents and curiosities, to range far and wide in search of experience. I can empathize with the desire to return to what you know, and to settle in quietly without rocking any more boats. But rejecting what you feel in exchange for security and comfort often denies you both, and can leave you feeling more confused. You shouldn't have to suppress yourself in this way, you are beautiful and loved. Take you time and find those hobbies or activities that make you happy. Spend your time there around other people for whom that activity brings comfort. And start building that community. I have faith in you.

Good Luck Story of One,
Steemy

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Hi Steemit,

I'm Steemy, and this is Dear Steemy. The above is a real life situation that I've adapted for this anonymous blog about the real issues we talk about. This series of confessions comes from my long history of being entrusted with the secrets of others, a heavy weight that I hope to lift a little by sharing it here with the Steemit community.

If you would like some advice anonymously, you can email me @ [email protected]. Please be aware that I will post your issue, and my response to it, here on Steemit. Unless otherwise specified, I will not use any usernames or other identifying information, nor will I divulge any information in my possession.

This email is purely for those wanting to ask for advice, or share something they're working through. Any spam or post promotion will be gently ignored.

This is an anonymous forum for sharing the hard-to-face situations where any advice would be appreciated. This is not to be construed as medical or psychological advice. Please join the conversation with a comment!

Until I start to receive submissions from the community, I will share these current secrets that rest heavy on my heart. I hope you find comfort and personal value in this blog. I am so happy to be here.