My Longing To Feel Better With My Body Always Has A Big Price

I was wondering that I did had achieved some great amount of time being a dialysis patient and it made my life less interesting because obviously no one wants to be in my shoes. I can say that my situation in life is laughable because not only I am suffering but I am also getting dried-up with my pockets.

I am just surviving because of the good-hearted people that are not ceasing to give support financially from this platform because I know that they understand what I am going through. That is one thing that I am thanking God for because if not for you my friends I will not be able to bridge my life.

But the course of my life still rolls up and down and forward. I intend to push through with my life until I can achieve my target goals with the blessing of God but if my body suddenly gave way then that is the end of my rocky journey in this peculiar lifetime of mine.

It is just sad that I am like balancing an object each and everyday and if I would let go I will cause my own demise and suffering. That is why I am still working hard to be able to earn so that I could afford my needed medicines which I would stop taking would cause me a great deal of pain and misery.

The surgeries that I am longing for to happen and the medicines that I am taking are very forbidding with their price, they cause pain in my pockets just for me to be able to maintain less pain that I was experiencing every single day.

The painful reality is that I just have to continue taking these drugs even though they are not curing me. For example my Cinacalcet is just lowering down the parathyroid hormone but not normalizing it permanently so I just have to take it everyday while my phosphate binder I have to take each and everytime I would eat which is why it causes me to eat less often in order for me to not suffer the blow in buying it because the more I would put something in my mouth the more I have to use my phosphate binder.

I hope that soon I would never have to worry about where to source my funds anymore or at least not to use these current medicines that I am using because they are a pain to procure for myself and at the same time they are not healing me completely.

So I am praying to God to spare me from ever to require taking my said drugs again because it gives me a constant worry particularly in the future times that I will not be able to lift my arms anymore to write my blogs to be able to sustain myself in these desperate times of my life.