I'm Still Wondering If A Divine Force is Affecting My Life Because I Am Still Alive
It is quite toasty again with the weather, I feel like my blood is energized like a reptile's body when subjected in these rather uncomfortable weather conditions.
But I am not complaining and as I had said it makes my blood warm unlike in cold weather which I can tolerate but it makes me uncomfortable because of my seemingly non-existent body fat, so if it gets cold I have not much protection from it except to use my blanket as a shield.
My electric fan by the way still have to function constantly even if it is dry and cold because I have to deaden with white noise from its humming sound the ringing ear condition that I have from years now.
This ringing ear condition of mine is really torturous and if I come to think of it always it would make me mad. That is why I am thankful that I have still some things that distracts me from it otherwise I just wanted to die because of it.
So it is a dilemma if I would like to live in a quite and peaceful place because of my ringing ear issue because I will not be in peace at all if all I would hear is my ringing ear which could be a result of so many wrong things in my body. My hope and prayer is that for it not to get worse and also get taken from me along with many functionalities of my body.
There are so many ailments in my body, almost all organs are affected and yet I am still going on and on like an energizer bunny with an energizer battery. Maybe there is a divine force out there working for my fate and waiting for me to fulfill my destiny or for me to make some actions for a butterfly effect I will never know.
Despite all my infirmities I am still here and chugging along, I do not even have the slightest feeling that I will going away for god soon. So the right thing for me to do is to to continue to struggle on and maybe I will achieve what I am longing for with the help of my friends and God with me, I guess still anything could be possible at this point.