I love the exaggerated picture. It is turning you into a bearded monster. Don't let them dress you up as Father Christmas though. I was a pirate at mine and looked like a genuine black beard. Now I would be known as the deadly and most feared grey beard.
I have already offered to be Santa, for some reason they weren't that keen...
A pirate would be a fine thing!!
Maybe the women don't want to sit on your lap for some unknown reason.