Phew!

Oh. My-lanta!
I love the holidays, but as eager as I am for them to get here, I am just as eager for them to go!
This year we went back to multiple Christmases. You see, I have a rather large family. I am still blessed to have both of my great grandparents on my father's side. However, I am afraid, it might not be for much longer. So, my husband and I decided that we would spend time at my Granny's house!
It's funny how when you're an adult, a house that always seemed so large feels so small. Granny is poor health, going downhill quicker by the day it seems. I was blessed to get to be with her for another Christmas. I was blessed that my sons got to spend time with her.
After there, we moved on to my mother's side of the family. There were close to 35 people there counting the children. It was fun but holy smokes was it chaotic.
We finished Christmas day off with my inlaws. Since my husband is an only child, it was just the six of us. It was peaceful and quiet. My kiddos got to unwind and enjoy their new toys that they had to put aside while we spent the day traveling all over creation.
Tonight, we finished with our last Christmas gathering. MY CRAZY LOONEY family. We had a blast, and as I sat watching the kids as they opened their gifts I felt at peace. For the first time in a very long time, I felt at peace.
2017 has been what seems like a non-stop struggle of one battle right after the other. It ranged from struggling financially to dealing with ASD meltdowns and hiccups. Dealing with severe depression and anxiety as well as a nervous breakdown. BUT, even through all of that, I realized that I still have my family. Some of which we aren't really sure how much longer they will be around.
I spent a lot of time angry this year. I was angry at people for stupid, childish, and petty things. I was angry at people for no reason. I was just simply miserable and angry. I spent a lot of time ranting and raving in my mind and to a few other people.... "Why me?" or "What did I do to deserve this?"
But as I watched my nephew and niece open their presents and jump up and down for joy, I forgot about my issues. Then I realized, I had been selfish. I was so focused on my own problems--about 95% of which were petty--that I missed out on all the amazing things that could have happened. I didn't go see my Granny because I was "too busy". How often is that an excuse that we all use? I'm ashamed to admit I think I have been down there maybe once in seven years. What's worse . . . she lives about 45 mins away. Yep, selfish.
I was short with my kids. I lost my patience. I yelled. This list can go on for days, but I'm sure you get the point.
I don't make New Year's resolutions. This year, I am going to make New Year's promises.
I promise to smile a little more and frown a little less.
I promise not to try not to overthink things because they usually aren't as bad as I make them.
I promise to take a little time and watch the sunset!

I promise to be a better friend.

I promise to be a better mother.
I promise to be a better wife.
I promise to focus more on my children.
I promise to be a better sister.

I want to get back to the person I was a few years ago. It's time for this ole hag that's been driving to take a back seat. I want me back, and in 2018 you can bet that she's gonna be the one driving this happy wagon!
Hold your family a little tighter because there are some that can't or don't get a chance to.
Kiss and hug your babies a little more because there are some that can't have children.
Say I love you before going to bed--EVEN if you're fighting.
Let people know how much they mean to you because you never know if you will truly see them again!